IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of remote work has become a significant trend in recent years. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home

After COVID-19, many companies decided to change their way of working to online because no one at that
time
Use synonyms
 could go out of their
places
Check wording
homes
show examples
. They decided to continue working remotely.
This
Linking Words
 article will show the advantages of an online
job
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,
such
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 as having more
time
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 to stay with family, so that they can raise their children better.
Also
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will show the disadvantages,
such
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 as the lack of human interaction and
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 absence of teamwork. First of all, there are many benefits to having a home
job
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, but the most important aspect is having a significant amount of
time
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, because you do not have to stay at the workplace for 8 hours; you are able to finish your work in less than that.
As a result
Linking Words
, not only will you have
time
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 to teach the children, so they will be highly educated, but
also
Linking Words
 to play with the kids, so you can build great memories for both of you.
For example
Linking Words
, Ali states that 90% of the people who work in the normal way do not have enough
time
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 to stay with their children, but 12% of remote workers have a significant amount of
time
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 to enjoy with
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
kids
Check wording
children
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a disadvantage of having a remote
job
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 is less human interaction.
This
Linking Words
 is because you will not be able to meet your co-workers, so you will not share your ideas with your peers and talk to them.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
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 will not only affect your mental health, but
also
Linking Words
 your teamwork, because you are not in touch with them. In conclusion, having an online
job
Use synonyms
 has many advantages and disadvantages, but you have to choose between them based on your personal circumstances.

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improvement
For task response, add a clear view on the topic and give more detail for each point. Put a short thesis in the intro and a clear restatement in the end.
improvement
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas well. Use simple joining words and keep one idea per paragraph.
strength
Two main ideas are clear: more time with family and less talk with teammates.
strength
You use some linking words like First of all and In addition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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