IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The only reason why people work hard is to eanr money and there is no another reason for doing so. To what extent do you agree and disagree ?

The only reason why
people
Use synonyms
wark
Use the right word
work
show examples
 hard to earn
money
Use synonyms
 and there is no
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 reason for doing so can be true
as well as
Linking Words
 it is false for others.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, there are two kinds of
people
Use synonyms
 first kind
those
Verb problem
are those
show examples
 who are working for
money
Use synonyms
 only
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are doing
this
Linking Words
 for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they are working hard to get high positions in their
work
Use synonyms
 environment
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they grab attention and feel the power
as well as
Linking Words
 getting
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 social status in society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 have limited thought
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 only think of earning
money
Use synonyms
 from
work
Use synonyms
 and don't consider any extra income for their life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 who are hard workers but not only for
money
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, they
work
Use synonyms
 so hard to feel relieved and confident
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are hard workers because they want to discharge their anger, depression
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 on their families. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 hard for several reasons and for various beliefs. And I don't think that I have the right to give my opinion
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own beliefs as well.

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task response
Be clear about your view. State if you agree or disagree, then give strong reasons.
coherence cohesion
Organize in four parts: intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence.
grammar
Check grammar, fix phrases like 'wark hard' and 'eanr money' to 'work hard' and 'earn money'.
content
Shows two sides of the argument with a contrast.
structure
Conclusion is included.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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