IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company. why might be this case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? give your reasons for answer Find essays with the same topic

These days
several
Punctuation problem
, several
show examples
 individuals prefer to have their own
business
Use synonyms
 rather than working for a
company
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 might be caused by the fancy image
that is
Linking Words
 shown today in social media and
also
Linking Words
 the tough working
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
While
Linking Words
 the disadvantages are the high risk and the instability. A lot of people
attend
Verb problem
aspire
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 to be self-employed because
the
Change preposition
of the
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 amazing show by other influencers. Now it is common to see people who promote
to have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a
business
Use synonyms
, they would say it will
take you
Verb problem
lead
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 to wealth.
Linking Words
While in
Change preposition
On
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 the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 another reason is the tough financial situations for
company
Use synonyms
 employees. People struggle financially in the
last
Linking Words
 weeks of
month
Correct article usage
the month
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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 some jobs demand
a
Correct article usage
apply
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hard work
while
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 the salary isn't fair. But for sure
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 are disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
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 having your
business
Use synonyms
 .
First,
Linking Words
the high risk that you have to face . You will face many surprising challenges
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 at the beginning , even if you
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a plan.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 the
suddenly
Replace the word
sudden
show examples
 changes in labore market
that is
Linking Words
 impossible to expect .
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 the financial collapse that happened
along
Change preposition
during
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 the
Covid-19
Check wording
COVID-19 pandemic
show examples
. The instability is a major disadvantage. Because the self-employed person will not have the job security
that is
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 offered to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 employees.And
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
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It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is not essential to earn the same rate of income every month, since the
surprised
Replace the word
surprise
show examples
 challenge. In conclusion, you have to think twice before having your own
business
Use synonyms
 because it will
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a high risk and it will not provide you
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 same features
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 employees.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear idea. Have one main view and then add a small counter view.
content
Add more exact examples or facts to back each point.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas well, like also, but, so, for example.
language
Check spell and form of words so sentences are clear.
content
The topic is clear and you try to cover both reasons and the bad side.
content
You give at least one real example (Covid-19) to show risk.
structure
There is both an intro and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • entrepreneurial
  • independent contractor
  • freelancer
  • work-life balance
  • autonomy
  • economic independence
  • professional freedom
  • self-starter
  • innovator
  • financial instability
  • benefits
  • pension plans
  • healthcare coverage
  • unpredictable income
  • job security
  • networking
  • time management
  • burnout
  • sole proprietorship
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