IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the maps show the change of lake side from 2000 and 2009the maps show the change of lake side from 2000 and 2009

the maps show the change of lake side from 2000 and 2009the maps show the change of lake side from 2000 and 2009
The map illustrates the changes of
Lake side
Use the right word
Lakeside
show examples
 over a 9-year period between 2000 and 2009. Generally,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
Lake side
Use the right word
Lakeside
show examples
witness
Correct subject-verb agreement
witnesses
show examples
 a significant
modernization
Use the right word
modernisation
show examples
. Most noticeably, decreases in Woodland
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
 of
amenity
Fix the agreement mistake
amenities
show examples
. As is shown by the map,
that saw
Verb problem
which is shown
show examples
 in the North of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
, the Residential area located in the Northwest
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained,
while
Linking Words
 the school until stand there
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
was teller
Verb problem
is in ruins
show examples
. Saw in the Northeast of the city
Woodland
Punctuation problem
, Woodland
show examples
 was cut down a half
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 the industrial
developed
Check wording
area developed
show examples
 larger. The derelict warehouse was replaced
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a car park, and the old town was knocked down to make way for offices and a university.
Besides
Linking Words
, a variety of changes
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
arts
Correct article usage
an arts
show examples
 centre and
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
show examples
 area in the North
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
respectively,
show examples
disappear
Wrong verb form
disappeared
show examples
,
instead
Linking Words
 of a
Multi- screen
Use the right word
multi-screen
show examples
 cinema and a shopping centre,
while
Linking Words
 the South’s residential area was torn down.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: