IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

there are more and more older workers working in companies. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages for a company.

It is becoming increasingly common for companies to employ a higher proportion of older
workers
Use synonyms
.
While
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 there are some potential drawbacks to
this
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 trend, I believe the advantages for companies outweigh the disadvantages. One concern is that older employees may be less adaptable to rapid technological change. In fast-moving industries,
such
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 as IT or digital marketing, the ability to learn new systems quickly can be crucial for competitiveness. Older
workers
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 might take longer to master new software or adapt to different working practices, which could slow
overall
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 productivity.
In addition
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, some older staff may face health issues or require more flexible schedules, potentially increasing costs for the company. These factors could make it challenging for businesses to maintain efficiency and meet tight deadlines.
However
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, the benefits of employing older
workers
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 are often more significant. They usually possess a wealth of experience and industry knowledge, which can improve decision-making and problem-solving within teams. Their professionalism, work ethic, and reliability can set high standards for younger staff, creating a more disciplined workplace culture. In many cases, older employees are skilled mentors who can train and guide new recruits, reducing the need for external training programmes.
Moreover
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, their long-term networks and client relationships can help companies build trust and secure valuable business opportunities. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some disadvantages, the
overall
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 impact of having more older
workers
Use synonyms
 in a company is likely to be positive.

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examples
Add one or two exact examples from real work life to back your point.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit and cause.
language
Keep some lines short and simple to avoid long mistakes.
evidence
If you can, add numbers or facts to show proof.
content
Clear view that older workers bring more good.
structure
Easy to follow order: intro, body, conclusion.
coherence
Good use of words to show cause and effect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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