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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population of foxes on four diffeent Californian islands between 1994 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the population of foxes on four diffeent Californian islands between 1994 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The chart illustrates the number of
Use synonyms
fox
Fix the agreement mistake
foxes
show examples
 residing on
four
Use synonyms
 islands in
california
Fix capitalization
California
show examples
-
Santa
Use synonyms
Catalina
Use synonyms
,
Santa
Use synonyms
Cruz
Use synonyms
,
Santa
Use synonyms
 Rosa and
San
Use synonyms
Miguel
Use synonyms
, for a 20-year period, from 1994 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
fox
Correct article usage
the fox
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population
Use synonyms
 on these
four
Use synonyms
 islands all experienced a
sharply
Replace the word
sharp
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 decrease from 1994 to 2000, the year
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the figure of
fox
Use synonyms
on
Check wording
population on
show examples
Use synonyms
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
habitats
Check wording
islands was
show examples
 almost
were
Verb problem
apply
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zero.
While
Linking Words
 the
fox
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
started
Verb problem
has started
show examples
increase
Verb problem
to increase
show examples
 since 2006. Ultimately, the number of
Use synonyms
fox
Fix the agreement mistake
foxes
show examples
 on
Santa
Use synonyms
Catalina
Use synonyms
,
Santa
Use synonyms
Cruz
Use synonyms
 and
San
Use synonyms
Miguel
Use synonyms
 reached the number
as
Use the right word
a
show examples
 much
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1994 in 2014. In 1994, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 1,780
foxes
Use synonyms
 appearing on
Santa
Use synonyms
 Rosa, which
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
 for the
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
 proportion of
Use synonyms
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 islands. Following
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Santa
Use synonyms
Catalina
Use synonyms
 and
Santa
Use synonyms
Cruz
Use synonyms
, with 1,400 and 1,333
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
San
Use synonyms
Miguel
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the least
Use synonyms
foxes
Fix the agreement mistake
fox
show examples
population
Use synonyms
, with under 500.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 dropped
harshly
Rephrase
sharply
show examples
 since 1994.
By
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the period from 2000 to 2004, there were even
under
Change preposition
than
show examples
 100
foxes
Use synonyms
 found on each island.
However
Linking Words
, the discovery of
Use synonyms
fox
Correct article usage
a fox
show examples
 recovered in 2006, which made the
population
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
fox
Fix the agreement mistake
foxes
show examples
 on
Santa
Use synonyms
Catalina
Use synonyms
,
Santa
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Cruz
Punctuation problem
Cruz,
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 both increased to 1,666, even more than
1994
Change preposition
in 1994
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, there were more
foxes
Use synonyms
resided
Wrong verb form
residing
show examples
 on
Santa
Use synonyms
 Rosa and
San
Use synonyms
Miguel
Use synonyms
 as well, with 900 and 500
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fox, four, santa, catalina, cruz, san, miguel, population, foxes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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