IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about 250 words for 40 minutes. *Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships* . Discuss the advantages of both.Then state which situation you prefer.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 like to have a large group of
friends
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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, others prefer having a
small
Punctuation problem
small,
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 close-knit circle of
confidante
Use the right word
confidants
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides of both these notions and explicate my preference. To commence with,
people
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 having a large number of
friends
Use synonyms
 are free from mental issues
such
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 as depression, social anxiety and loneliness. They have someone to be around all the time, which in turn helps them to vigilantly face difficult situations, as they have
guidance
Correct article usage
the guidance
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 of multiple individuals.
This
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 helps in their personal growth in terms of socialising and networking.
For example
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, if a person is facing financial hardship,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can get aid from
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 friend or multiple
friends
Use synonyms
 in order to get out of that situation.
On the other hand
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, it has been rightly said that
,
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apply
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 "Quality matters more than quantity"
,
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;
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therefore
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, having few
friends
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 will always have your back
,
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apply
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 is much better than having a vast circle
,
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apply
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 where
people
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 won't come to aid when
need be
Wrong verb form
needed
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. If we have a smaller circle, only a few
people
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 are aware of your personal information, and are
thus
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,
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apply
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 aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
This
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in
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, in
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 turn, saves them from the risk of being
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
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to
Change preposition
of
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 unwanted
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
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 and
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. If I talk about myself, I strongly believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 "A friend in need is a friend indeed".
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of having a huge group of useless
people
Use synonyms
 as my
friends
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, I would rather opt to have one person as my companion, who will understand me, not judge me and support me whenever
need be
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
.
To conclude
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, I would say, different
people
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 have different
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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 about how many
people
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 they need in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Some
people
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 like
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 number of
friends
Use synonyms
 because of their extrovertedness and social networking
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 others are of
shy
Correct article usage
a shy
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 nature and do not want many
people
Use synonyms
 around them.

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content
Use more clear and simple ideas. Add one clear example for each point.
coherence
Link your ideas with small words like Also, And, But, So, Then.
grammar
Fix small grammar mistakes and keep sentences short.
lexical
Avoid long quotes. Use your own words.
content
The essay looks at both sides and shows your view.
structure
You use good signs to show your idea (e.g., However, Quality matters more).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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