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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
children
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 should be taught by their
parents
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 about how to function as useful members of
society
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,
while
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 others believe that sending
children
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 to educational institutions is the best way for them to study
this
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.
Although
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 the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating
children
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 to be good parts of the community.
Schools
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 can be considered suitable places for
children
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 to learn to be good citizens. With
standardized
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standardised
show examples
 educational methods,
schools
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 can foster
children
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's cognitive development so that they are able to contribute to
society
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 in the future.
For example
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, Trung Vuong school and Vinschool are well known for having nurtured successful alumni
such
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 as Professor Ngo Bao, Professor Nguyen Hung
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 have devoted their talents to the development of the country.
However
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, these people only represent a small fraction of the total number of students attending
schools
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, and
thus
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sending
Punctuation problem
, sending
show examples
children
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 to
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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 cannot be the best method of educating them to be good members of
society
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. I believe that
parents
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 play a more important role in teaching them how to be good citizens. In Vietnam, the average class size is 20 students, which makes it difficult for educators to provide proper schooling for each student.
One to one
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One-to-one
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 lessons at home,
on the other hand
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, allow
children
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 to progress faster.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 form stronger bonds with their offspring
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
thus
Linking Words
, it is easier for them to shape
children
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's personalities at an early age.
For example
Linking Words
, by telling stories
such
Linking Words
 as Robin Hood, Cinderella before bedtime,
parents
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 can instil a sense of compassion and integrity into them. These
children
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 are likely to become good members of
society
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 when they grow up.

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task
Task response is clear and you take a view. You talk about both sides and give your own idea.
coherence
Make the main idea of each paragraph clear. Start with a short line that says what the paragraph is about and then add reason and example.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also. Use small, easy steps to move from one thought to the next.
examples
Use easy, real examples. Make sure they fit the point you make in that paragraph.
conclusion
Finish with a short end that restates your view.
content
Your view is clear and shown from the start.
structure
You give a reason for your view and keep to it in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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