IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Because of the development of
media
Use synonyms
,
people
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 are provided with more channels to
attain
Verb problem
obtain
show examples
 information. Despite
there are
Verb problem
the
show examples
 diverse forms of
advertisements
Use synonyms
,
people
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 are less influenced than
people
Use synonyms
 in the past. I believe that it is a positive development. With the development of information technology, social
media
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in
people
Use synonyms
’s daily lives. Social
media
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 platforms can help
people
Use synonyms
attain
Verb problem
obtain
show examples
 effective information about the
products
Use synonyms
 from various angles. Individuals can search for others’ experiences of buying and using the product before, obtaining advice from those
people
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, which helps avoid
people
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 buying
products
Use synonyms
 blindly by
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are a huge number of
advertisements
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 and
products
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 in the market that may cause
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 visual tiredness, and their curiosity cannot be stimulated
consequently
Linking Words
. Only in
this
Linking Words
 way can
products
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 lead to a decrease in the impact of
advertisements
Use synonyms
. Some
products
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 make fake broadcasts in order to attract customers,
thus
Linking Words
 leading customers to compare
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
similar
products
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 and
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 the
products
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 that suit them best. To gain more customers’ attention, companies would be stimulated to improve the quality of their
products
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. At the same time,
this
Linking Words
 can encourage competition among companies, drive their creativity, so that they may invent more unique
products
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. In conclusion, I think it is a positive way to both limit individuals’ blind consumption and improve companies' competition with each other to publish unique
products
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. If the quality of the
products
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 is
recognized
Use the right word
recognised
show examples
 by residents, they can publish their experiences on social
media
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 to recommend the
products
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, which is the best advertisement for nowadays’s 
peopl
Correct your spelling
people

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development
Add more clear examples to back up your points.
coherence
Use better links to tie ideas for smooth flow.
language
Check grammar and keep short sentences so readers can follow.
structure
Keep a steady view; if you say it is good, show how it helps readers.
content
You have a clear view that ads being less strong is a good trend.
coherence
Some good ideas about how social media helps people choose carefully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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