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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more businesses as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communicating.

In recent years, more and more businesses
including
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, including
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individuals
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individuals,
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 are commonly communicating by using
technology
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instead
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 of meeting in person.
Although
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technology
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 has many benefits, it has some concerning drawbacks that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be taken into consideration.
This
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 essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
Due to
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 the advanced development of
technology
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, there
are
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is
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 many wide range of communication tools to contact other people,
such
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 as
smart phones
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smartphones
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,
laptop
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laptops
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, Line, email, Zoom, or Webex. These technologies are accessible
by
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to
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 many entrepreneurs because of
its
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their
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 convenience and many benefits. Starting with its convenience, these tools only need internet and electronic devices, which often belong to many businessmen. One of the most significant
advantage
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advantages
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relying
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of relying
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 on these technologies is
it
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that it
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 provides more time for
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the owner
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owner
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owner's
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business
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.
For example
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, in Bangkok, traffic congestion often occurs during workdays
,
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. Instead
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instead
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 of driving to have a meeting at
workplace
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the workplace
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, you can have an online meeting via Zoom or Webex
regardless
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, regardless
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place
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of place
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 or time
to
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, to
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minimize
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minimise
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 spent
of
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in
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 your day.
As a result
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 of
that
Add a comma
that,
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 your day is more productive. Another advantage is
reduction
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a reduction
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 in travel
cost
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costs
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 since you don’t have to refuel your car with gasoline, which is expensive in Thailand.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks to communication with technologies as well. Using
technology
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 can often lead to misunderstanding easily.
For instance
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, if we use
Line
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a Line
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 or email platform, they are presented in text form. It can’t express emotion
and
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, and
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 that can lead to misinterpretation.
As a result
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 of that, it may develop into a conflict. Another reason is network or device dysfunction.
For example
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, if you experienced a weak internet signal, the information or words might be divided into segments.
Therefore
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, you wouldn’t understand the whole sentence and
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would
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be annoyed about incomplete sentences. All of these misinformations might misguide you to make an inappropriate decision about your
business
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 and can cause
a
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apply
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costly damage. In conclusion, face-to-face interaction between businesses has been replaced by
technology
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 in recent days
due to
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 its convenience and useful platform.
Additionally
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, it could save more budget.
However
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,
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 of using
technology
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,
such
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 as internet dysfunction, must be
concerned
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considered
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 to prevent damage to your
business
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.
Therefore
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, you have to weigh risks and benefits
while
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 doing
business
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.

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language
Improve grammar and form. Use short, clear sentences.
structure
Start a new paragraph for each idea. Use a clear topic sentence.
content
Give more proof or facts to back ideas.
lexical
Check word choice. Use 'save money' not 'save more budget'.
content
Shows balance by listing both good and bad points.
structure
Has clear intro and conclusion.
content
Offers real example (Bangkok traffic).

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Convenience
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Economical
  • Accessibility
  • Physical barriers
  • Nuanced understanding
  • Impersonal
  • Misunderstandings
  • Reliance
  • Technical failures
  • Vulnerable
  • Security breaches
  • Hacking
  • Data theft
  • Sensitive information
  • Digital communication
  • Face-to-face interactions
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