IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is more likely that in the future the average standard of
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be less than what it is in
this
Linking Words
 time. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement , because of some
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 poor life choices . It could be not eating healthy meals or even not working out .
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
lean
Verb problem
tend
show examples
 to take the
esay
Correct your spelling
easy
 way and the way that costs less
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 food
even
Punctuation problem
; even
show examples
 so , they could be just acting lazy to make healthy food.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 now would rather eat out than eat
home cooked
Use the right word
home-cooked
show examples
 meals .
more over
Use the right word
Moreover
show examples
, it is likely that
people
Use synonyms
 do
that
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because they are lazy and want a fast solution , but they do not know that one of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 having bad
health
Use synonyms
 is because of what we eat .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the fact that food is not the only reason for having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
Use synonyms
health
Punctuation problem
health,
show examples
 there is
also
Linking Words
 a large
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 not
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 how important it is to
workout it lest
Use the right word
work out at least
show examples
 once or twice a week . It is
also
Linking Words
 fine not to register in a gym, it would be much better if you did
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it is not
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
 as working out every week .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , in my opinion that in the future if everyone did not take action about the life choices they make might have an
effact
Correct your spelling
effect
 on them and may be the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not having a good
health
Use synonyms
 level .

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grammar
Use clear and easy born words. Fix some grammar and spelling so the text is easy to read.
structure
Have a simple start. Give a short intro and a short end.
coherence
Link ideas with small joining words like and, but, so, also to make the flow easy.
development
Give one or two real facts or examples to back up your point.
style
Keep sentences short and clean. Stop long run on lines.
task
Check that each sentence fits the task and sticks to the topic.
strength
The writer takes a clear view on the topic.
strength
There are some usable ideas, like the choice of meals and exercise.
strength
The idea is given with simple words, easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
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