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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

The rapid growth of population in many major urban
areas
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 is emerging as a serious concern in many nations.
Although
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 overpopulation threatens many societies, its effects can be addressed successfully.
This
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 essay will examine some of the problems caused by increasing population density in urban
centres
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and propose several solutions to tackle these issues. First of all, the
number
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 of schools,
education
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centres
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 and worksites in urban
areas
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 increases every year.
Therefore
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, people keen to make money or study are forced to move as close to these urban
centres
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 as possible.
For example
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, in my city , which consists of many colleges and learning
centres
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, many students come from nearby ruler
areas
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 for educational purposes.
In addition
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, the natural increase of populations in large
cities
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.
According to
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 a study conducted in 2020, the
birth
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rate
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 in urban
cities
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 increased by 70% compared to the
last
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 decade , and
this
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 is because people in
cities
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 live longer and more easily by taking advantage of good healthcare and
education
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 in these
areas
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.
This
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 shows that there are major causes of overpopulation in
cities
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 ,
such
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 as
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 rural-urban immigration
rate
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 searching for golden opportunities , and the increased
birth
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rate
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 in large
cities
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.
However
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, governments must adopt a new vision to improve ruler
areas
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 in terms of healthcare and
education
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. Building high-quality schools, colleges and hospitals not only will reduce the
number
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 of immigrants to
cities
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, but it will
also
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 provide new job opportunities. Another solution is to limit the
number
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 of children for each family.
For example
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, China's experience in limiting the
birth
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rate
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 for each family succeeded in reducing the overpopulation by 25%.
To sum up
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, the rising population density in urban
cities
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 is a serious issue facing many nations.
This
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 essay has discussed the causes , which are the high rural-urban immigration
rate
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 and the increased
birth
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rate
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. It
also
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 suggested two solutions , which are providing the ruler
areas
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 with more
education
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centres
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 and work sites , and limiting the
number
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 of children for each family.

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task response
Make the main idea clear in the first few lines. State the cause and the solution in one line in the start.
coherence
Make the writing easy to follow. Use small steps. Use link words to move from one idea to the next.
content
Check facts and stay true to real ideas. If you use a fact, explain it or say it may be from a study.
advancement
Give full details for each idea. Show how a cause makes a problem and how a solution helps.
language
Keep the language simple. Fix misspellings and long, hard sentences.
structure
Good shape with intro, body and end.
content
The text keeps the idea of city crowd and its link to school and work.
examples
Some real examples are used, like city life and policy idea.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Migration
  • Sustainable development
  • Infrastructure
  • Population density
  • Urban sprawl
  • Urban planning
  • Renewable energy
  • Family planning
  • Rural economies
  • Public transport
  • Living standards
  • Healthcare access
  • Educational facilities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Regulations
What to do next:
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