IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many cities today are expanding upwards, with increasingly taller buildings being constructed for people to live and work in. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, numerous high-rise
buildings
Use synonyms
 are being constructed for accommodation and workspace purposes in urban areas.
This
Linking Words
 growing trend has several advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages, both of which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. Skyscrapers offer several benefits. First and foremost, they provide the opportunity to use limited space efficiently.
Instead
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 of expanding horizontally and causing urban sprawl, cities can accommodate a large number of people within the same area.
Secondly
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, high-rise
buildings
Use synonyms
 often feature better amenities and infrastructure. Fast elevators, security systems, and car parking facilities increase residents’ satisfaction.
Additionally
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, amenities
such
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 as sports clubs, playgrounds for children, and shops allow residents to meet their daily needs without leaving their
buildings
Use synonyms
. Looking at the negatives, one major drawback is
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 risk during
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 natural disaster. Citizens who live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the upper floors can have safety concerns if there is
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-structured evacuation system.
Moreover
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,
buildings
Use synonyms
 without thick, soundproof walls may lead to a lack of privacy and increased noise disturbance.
To conclude
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, it can be seen that skyscrapers have been useful for productive housing and entertaining opportunities.
However
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, these taller
buildings
Use synonyms
 are capable of being harmful and upsetting
due to
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 their low qualities
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 safety and privacy.

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task response
Make your view clear at the end. Say if the good parts are more than the bad parts, or the opposite.
coherence
Begin each new idea with a clear topic sentence. Use words like first, next, and also to link ideas. Make the order easy to follow.
lexical
Be careful with word choice. Use simple and exact words. Avoid odd phrases like 'low qualities' and keep phrases clear.
grammar
Check grammar and form: use ‘natural disasters’ in plural, and mention parking as a feature plainly.
content
Add more real life examples or specific points, such as safety plans or cost, to back up ideas.
structure
Clear split of pros and cons in two body paragraphs.
coherence
Use of linking words to show order and link ideas.
content
Essay talks about both sides and ends with a conclusion.
examples
Some concrete ideas like elevators, parking, and shops.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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