In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

In some cultures, people tell

childern

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children

: "If you try hard, you will achieve high".

Linking Words

while

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While

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this

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saying might have some demerits, it might boast

benefitial

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beneficial

merits. First and

formost

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foremost

this

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educcation

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education

teaches students to be

resilenet

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resilient

and try to be hardworking people to help and

builld

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build

the country, in

this

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method they might achieve their

resoultion

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resolution

throughout

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show examples

understanding the

correaltion

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correlation

between their effort and their

succuss

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success

show examples

morover

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Moreover

, by applying

this

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Fix the agreement mistake

understanding

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understandings

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understandings,

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they become high achievers

which

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, which

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is socially beneficial for their country and for future generations.

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Fix capitalization

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the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

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such

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beliefs make them ignore

real life

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real-life

show examples

limts

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limits

such

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as access to reliable resources and good

educaion

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education

mor

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than that,

this

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idea may push them to work to the limits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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burnout, which might cause mental health issues and

finally

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affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

show examples

their well-being.

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show examples

Correct your spelling

conclusion

conlcuntion

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conlcuntion,

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however

Punctuation problem

however,

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such

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beliefs

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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merits which

leads

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lead

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to personal success combined with social

success

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success,

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it might

has

Wrong verb form

have

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some negative

affects

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effects

show examples

such

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as burnout and mental issues

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Punctuation problem

, as

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well as depression.

mehrgoals

Aug 11, 2025

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structure

Make each paragraph have one clear idea. Use one idea per paragraph and begin with a line that states it.

coherence

Use simple joining words to show how ideas go on, like First, Next, However, And, So.

language

Check spell and grammar. Use words you know well to keep the meaning clear.

content

You show both sides of the issue.

structure

The text uses sign posts such as First and On the other hand.

conclusion

The ending tries to sum up the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

166 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

advantage
disadvantage
effort
hard work
try
achieve
goal
plan
practice
persistence
belief
confidence
failure
pressure
stress
health
talent
luck
realistic
balance
support
guide
parent
teacher
child
school
culture
improve
learn
reward
blame
risk
burnout
well-being
success
motivation
opportunity
access

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In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, governments should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

There have been many inventions in human history. Some people think the most important thing is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?