IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In recent years technology has significantly changed the interaction between people. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The line graph below illustrates the percentage of Internet users in three
countries
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 (
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, and
Mexico
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) from 1999 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
countries
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 had a notable rise ,
while
Linking Words
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 saw
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 highest figure compared
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 3
countries
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 recorded 20%. Meanwhile ,
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Mexico
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 had 15 and 5
proportion
Check wording
per cent
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. In 2004, all the
countries
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 dramatic increase
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
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Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 .
USA
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 received around
40
Correct article usage
a 40
show examples
%
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 and reached around 60%,
while
Linking Words
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
also
Linking Words
 rose 40% and became approximately 55%. Meanwhile,
Mexico
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 reached around 25%, which is considered a slight increase compared to
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. By 2009, the 3
countries
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 reached the top.
However
Linking Words
,
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 got 80% but,
USA
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 increased 20% and
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 roughly 25%, meanwhile
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mexico
Fix capitalization
Mexico
show examples
 reached 40% and grew around 15%.

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data reporting
Check the data in the graph first. State the exact year and the exact number you use. Describe how each country changes in order.
structure
Add a short intro that says what the graph shows and a short ending that repeats the main idea.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like while, then, and, but. Let the lines of thought flow from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix grammar and make simple, correct form. For example, say 'the United States had the highest rate' instead of 'the USA had the highest figure compared the 3 countries'.
lexical resource
Use simple words only. Do not add long or hard words. Keep how you say numbers and trends clear.
task value
The write up shows a trend that all three countries rise in time.
detail
Data are shown for three years and three places.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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