IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any in-person interaction with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, the trend of digital
business
Use synonyms
 has grown drastically.
Therefore
Linking Words
, because of
this
Linking Words
, people can
job
Verb problem
work
show examples
 online, sell things on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meetings without any problem. For that reason, it is a positive development and I would discuss some supporting points to
proof
Replace the word
prove
show examples
 it in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
Although
Linking Words
 talking through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 most likely has changed the way of communication from in person to digital, it is actually a
time
Use synonyms
 and money saver and has a great impact on businesses and on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different ways.
Such
Linking Words
 as,
Use synonyms
business men
Use the right word
businessmen
show examples
 do not need to travel abroad for their
business
Use synonyms
 meetings
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In
fact
Punctuation problem
fact,
show examples
 they
just can
Correct word order
can just
show examples
 meet up on Google
meets
Correct subject-verb agreement
Meet
show examples
 and other online interaction applications , which not only
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 valuable
time
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 travel
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, during
covid
Correct article usage
the COVID
show examples
 pandemic,
in person
Use the right word
in-person
show examples
 meetings
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 strictly banned.
Hence
Linking Words
, students continued their study
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 online classes, companies sell their things digitally, and enterprises were in touch with each other through video calls and emails.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, working online is really flexible and comfortable
as compare
Change preposition
compared
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
 in person. To explain it
in other words
Linking Words
, there is
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 restriction on employees regarding the rules and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 and
time
Use synonyms
 boundaries
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 some cases
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
 they
work
Use synonyms
 with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
also
Linking Words
 require less physical
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
masses
Check wording
workers
show examples
 who
work
Use synonyms
 from home have no requirement to follow some rules of the company, like as wearing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
,
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and
break
Wrong verb form
breaking at
show examples
on
Use the right word
an
show examples
 exact
time
Use synonyms
, workers
Punctuation problem
. Workers
show examples
 can wear casual clothes and take
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
show examples
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
even can
Correct word order
can even
show examples
 do multi-tasking
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it more convenient and comfortable for them.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, e-commerce has a great number of benefits which
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a
big
Correct word choice
significant
show examples
 contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development of any
business
Use synonyms
. To simplify it, traders preserve a big amount of money by digital marketing, as they do not require extra staff to manage the shop, paying for utility, even not require physical presence all the
time
Use synonyms
 on the shop,
while
Linking Words
 dealer just need to click the picture and advertise the product online on different websites by just on click for selling In conclusion, after having
deep
Correct article usage
a deep
show examples
 discussion on
this
Linking Words
 topic, I would like to say that online
work
Use synonyms
,
business
Use synonyms
, and interaction
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more beneficial than
live
Correct article usage
a live
show examples
 appearance.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is
convenient
Correct article usage
a convenient
show examples
, pocket-friendly,
comfortable
Correct word choice
and comfortable
show examples
 way of doing tasks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer with a clear start, a body with 3 ideas, and a short end.
development
Give one main view and then a small look at opposite view before ending.
grammar
Use full, simple sentences and fix grammar mistakes.
linking
Add link words like also, but, and so to help flow.
content
You show a positive view on online work and business.
examples
You use real examples like Covid and online meetings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Internet
  • shop
  • work
  • communicate
  • interaction
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • convenience
  • time
  • popular
  • busy
  • individuals
  • avoid
  • crowded
  • stores
  • balance
  • responsibilities
  • effectively
  • social
  • media
  • video calls
  • connect
  • globally
  • relationships
  • important
  • friends
  • family
  • physical
  • distance
  • feelings
  • loneliness
  • isolation
  • skills
  • connections
  • conversations
  • mental health
  • negatively
  • human beings
  • naturally
  • seek
  • issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • rely
What to do next:
Look at other essays: