Many people today use mobile phones and computers for work, study, and daily life. Some people think this makes people lose their ability to talk face to face. I disagree with this opinion.

Many
people
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today use mobile
phones
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and
computers
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for work, study, and daily
life
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. Some
people
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think
this
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makes
people
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lose their ability to talk
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face to
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face-to-face
show examples
face
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. I disagree with
this
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opinion. Some
people
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say mobile
phones
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and
computers
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have reduced
people
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’s
face
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-to-
face
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communication
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skills. At the workplace, these devices make it easy to send messages or join online meetings without meeting in person. Because of
this
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, many workers and
business
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businesspeople
show examples
people
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talk less in real
life
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. In personal
life
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, more
people
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, especially young
people
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, choose to use online chats
instead
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of meeting friends, so they have fewer chances to read body language or speak clearly in person. Over time,
this
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can make it harder for them to feel confident in
face
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-to-
face
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conversations.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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view because these technologies do not always harm real-
life
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communication
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. Mobile
phones
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and
computers
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allow
people
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to stay in contact with family or friends who live far away. Video calls,
for example
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, let
people
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see each other’s faces and expressions even if they cannot meet.
Furthermore
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, losing the ability to communicate
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face to
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face-to-face
show examples
face
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should not be blamed only on
technology
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. Whether they have
technology
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or not, many
people
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today do not meet others often and prefer to be alone, which may lead them to lose
face
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-to-
face
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communication
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skills. In conclusion,
while
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mobile
phones
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and
computers
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connect
people
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more in online spaces than in real
life
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, I disagree that they usually make
people
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less skilled in
face
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-to-
face
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communication
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. If
people
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use
technology
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wisely, the lack of
face
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-to-
face
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skills comes from other lifestyle changes, not just
technology
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.

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content
Add more exact examples that link to face talk in work and life.
coherence
Make the idea in each paragraph clearer with more linking words.
lexical
Use easy words only and short sentences to fit top 100 words.
grammar
Check long sentences and break them with punctuation.
content
Clear view that tech can help keep in touch with family far away.
structure
Good to show the other view and give a reason why you disagree.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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