Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men, even though in many developed countries the workforce is over 50 percent. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
Some people believe that
companies
should hire more women
for critical positions
, as it is evident that in many countries, a significant proportion of high-level positions
are occupied by men. Although
there are inequitable conditions in companies
’ rules for promotion, I believe that gender
should not influence a hiring manager’s selection process. Instead
, only the qualifications and competencies of job candidates should be considered. Therefore
, I do not agree with allocating a fixed percentage of leadership roles to either gender
.
Despite the efforts of NGOs and activists to reduce discrimination in companies
and society at large, it is clear that
even in the 21st century, women
face significant barriers to advancement. Sociologists and human resource specialists often highlight the glass ceiling phenomenon, which prevents women
from reaching top-tier positions
within organizations. This
invisible barrier means that decision-makers in promotions often overlook women
's abilities and skills, favoring
male Change the spelling
favouring
employees
instead
. Consequently
, women
are frequently confined to middle-management roles, not because of their lack of qualifications but due to
their gender
. For instance
, when two employees
with equal qualifications compete for promotion, managers often prioritize the male candidate over the female one, perpetuating systemic inequality.
On the other hand
, if companies
focus solely on merit-based promotions and consider only the skills and expertise of candidates, it would encourage employees
to enhance their professional competencies. This
approach would motivate individuals to invest in upskilling and continuous development through specialized training and certifications. As a result
, employees
would feel more driven to excel, boosting their productivity and engagement. Such
improvements in employee performance would ultimately benefit organizations by helping them achieve their goals more efficiently and fostering a competitive work environment.
In conclusion, gender
continues to play a significant role in promotions within most companies
, creating challenges for women
aspiring to attain high-level roles. I believe that gender
should be eliminated as a criterion for promotion, and both female and male employees
should be given equal opportunities to advance based on their skills and achievements. Allocating a proportion of positions
based on gender
is not a sustainable solution and may even undermine the principles of fairness and meritocracy.Submitted by bahare.hatamy on
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task achievement
Consider broadening the range of examples to enrich the essay, potentially including global or diverse industry contexts.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is cohesive, gentle attention to ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions may slightly uplift readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents a clear stance on the issue and is well-articulated, effectively setting up the argument.
coherence cohesion
Strong conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing the thesis.
task achievement
The use of terms like 'glass ceiling' displays a strong command of relevant vocabulary, illustrating a depth of understanding.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example