IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

I don't think that the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages. Even though homeschooling may have many advantages, it has more disadvantages
though
Rephrase
apply
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. The first problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 homeschooling is that the
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
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 may lack
social
Correct article usage
a social
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 environment which allows them to make
friends
Use synonyms
 and communicate with
others
Use synonyms
. As human beings, we need
friends
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 school is a place where kids meet their
friends
Use synonyms
 with whom they can play
with
Change preposition
apply
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, chat with and have fun
with
Change preposition
apply
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. It's
also
Linking Words
 important to learn to
work
Use synonyms
 with
others
Use synonyms
. When they grow up, no matter where they
work
Use synonyms
, they need to
work
Use synonyms
 with
others
Use synonyms
.It's important to express your ideas, collaborate with
others
Use synonyms
 and make
friends
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
work places
Use the right word
workplaces
show examples
 as well. The second problem about homeschooling is that one of the parents
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to give up his or her own career. It does not only mean a five-to-ten-year break from
work
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 means a break from the social life which usually a working mum or dad
Rephrase
usually get
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get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 from
work
Use synonyms
. In the
meanwhile
Use the right word
meantime
show examples
, the
parent
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 loses the feeling of achievement and accomplishment from
work
Use synonyms
. At the same time, it
also
Linking Words
 takes a lot of patience and commitment from the parents. They need to spend all their time
into
Change preposition
apply
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taking care of, looking after and teaching the child. They can hardly take a break from their
Use synonyms
parent
Replace the word
parental
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 role.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, not every
parent
Use synonyms
 can be a good teacher. The
parent
Use synonyms
 may lack the teaching resources or the techniques that teachers gain through teacher
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
 and years of experience. After all, I think homeschooling has more disadvantages than advantages, not only for kids but
also
Linking Words
 for their parents.

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structure
Add a clear intro that tells what you will discuss and a short conclusion
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go together
content
Give more exact examples to back up each point
grammar
Check grammar and fix common mistakes like long sentences and missing punctuation
content
The stance is clear and kept through the essay
structure
Two main ideas are given and tied to the claim

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
What to do next:
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