IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that in all levels of educations, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Education
Use synonyms
 is the cornerstone of individual growth and societal progress. Some argue that our current
education
Use synonyms
 system focuses excessively on memorising facts
instead
Linking Words
 of developing practical skills. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint.
Firstly
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, it is a fact that from schools to tertiary
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, learners are encouraged to memorise answers
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the questions to get
heigher
Correct your spelling
higher
 scores in the classrooms. It is reflected by the way students are motivated to do better in the exams.
For example
Linking Words
, parents, teachers, and society will value those who are top scores, and it does not matter how much they are prepared for
practical
Correct article usage
the practical
show examples
 aspects of the
leasons
Correct your spelling
lessons
 learned in the
classromms
Correct your spelling
classrooms
.
Secondly
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, the lack of laboratories
also
Linking Words
reveal
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
show examples
 how our
education
Use synonyms
 is based on a traditional memorise-and-pass approach. Most institutes have not only a scarcity of proper laboratories but
also
Linking Words
 proper
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 for learners to learn the practical aspects of
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
. To illustrate, in our high school, we had to attend five
theoratical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 physics classes each week
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 one class
for
Verb problem
was for
show examples
 practical work in the same period.
This
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 lack of emphasis hindered us to learn practical
ascpects
Correct your spelling
aspects
 of the lessons.
To conclude
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, I
contemplate
Verb problem
contend
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 that the way our
education
Use synonyms
 institutes run
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with
deficiency
Correct article usage
a deficiency
show examples
 in laboratory provision
evidently
Punctuation problem
, evidently
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that our
education
Use synonyms
 system
focus
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focuses
show examples
 too much on teaching
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 rather
practical
Change preposition
than practical
show examples
 knowledge.

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language
Spelling and grammar need care to be clear.
development
Add more depth to ideas with more examples.
coherence
Use simple linking words to help flow between ideas.
structure
Keep one main idea per paragraph and start with a topic sentence.
vocabulary
Choose only common words, avoid hard or wrong words.
structure
The answer shows a clear stance.
coherence
Good use of sign posts like Firstly, Secondly and To conclude.
task response
The essay tries to address the task with related examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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