Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. This is a serious health problem. Give the reasons for this and give some solutions to help fix this problem.

owadays

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

, eating habits have become different in society. Most

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apply

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children

Use synonyms

are overweight, which will cause them many problems in the future.

Children

Use synonyms

do not realise that

this

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lifestyle may lead to obesity and cost them health problems.

This

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essay will examine why I think so many

children

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are overweight and what can be done to solve

this

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problem

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. I believe

children

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today are overweight for several reasons. First and foremost, their diet is, they eat far too much junk food, which is high in calories. As well, sweets and soda, popular with

children

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today, are loaded with sugar.

Second,

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the craze for video games has contributed to a sedentary lifestyle. Young people today spend countless hours online playing games. They do not participate in sports or in any form of exercise.

Finally

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, lack of awareness has

also

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contributed to

this

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issue. Schools do not offer enough courses on health and wellness to inform the students.

Also

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, parents must share the blame for

this

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problem

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. They need to manage and guide their

children

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However

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, there are many solutions available to help solve

this

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problem

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First,

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children

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need to reduce their unhealthy food snacks. They must focus on healthier foods

such

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fruits and vegetables.

Second,

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the young people should exercise more often and make it a daily routine. Joining a gym or participating in sports will be a tremendous help.

Third,

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parents and schools should play an important part in their

children

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’s lives by encouraging them to eat healthy food. New and healthier options in the school cafeteria would be a positive step. Parents

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can reduce playing hours on video games or have them do some chores. In Conclusion, it is clear to see that there are multiple reasons that contribute to the

problem

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of overweight

children

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However

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, there are many solutions available to help reduce

this

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problem

Use synonyms

alfred

Aug 12, 2025

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strength and weakness

The essay has a clear plan with an intro, two body parts and a conclusion, but ideas are not fully built. Add more proof and detail to show why and how the points matter.

improvement

To improve task response, give more real facts or examples (like how much time kids spend on screens or how much junk food is eaten).

improvement

Coherence and cohesion can be better with a clear topic sentence in each paragraph and more linking words to join ideas.

error correction

Grammar and punctuation need work. Fix comma use and word forms. Use simple, short sentences to avoid mistakes.

lexical

Vocabulary should be clear and main words simple. Avoid long phrases that may be hard for readers. Keep to common words.

content

Add concrete examples of healthier choices and school actions, like changing menus or limiting screen time, to make the claim stronger.

structure

Clear circle of intro, body and conclusion.

coherence

Good use of signpost words like First, Second, Finally, However.

content

Addresses both causes and solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. This is a serious health problem. Give the reasons for this and give some solutions to help fix this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You would like to request some time off work to attend a family event. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: • explain the reason for the time off • give the dates and times when you will be away • say how you will make up for the missed work

The international community must act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people today choose to take part in extreme sports (e.g. skydiving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?