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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Itay and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Itay and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The line graph illustrates the average emission per individual of carbon dioxide gas in four different countries,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal. Units are mentioned in metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there is an upward trend for only two countries
such
Linking Words
 as, Italy and Portugal and
proved
Use the right word
proven
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 themself a
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
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 friendly countries. The United Kingdom consistently proved
the
Verb problem
to have the
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 highest proportion of CO2
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 throughout the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the data,
In
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning of the year, Portugal and Italy consumed the highest proportion of
Co2
Use the right word
CO2
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emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 were approximately 1.5 and 4 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1967.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend
further
Linking Words
 significantly rose for Portuguese in 1977 and reached up to 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007,
while
Linking Words
 for Italian it increased gradually and
touched
Verb problem
reached
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 around 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 by the end of the year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, citizens of the U.K. dominated in
early
Correct article usage
the early
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 years and spent 11
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of carbon dioxide, but by applying the controlled
condition
Punctuation problem
condition,
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this
Linking Words
was
Verb problem
apply
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rapidly declined to 9 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Sweden was
only
Correct article usage
the only
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 region
where
Punctuation problem
where,
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 till 1976 highest number of individual
faced
Verb problem
apply
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carbon populations but introducing the greenhouse effect helped them
to managed
Verb problem
manage
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 it approx 5
tonnes
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was similar to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
portugal
Fix capitalization
Portugal
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • CO2
  • emissions
  • emission
  • carbon
  • carbon dioxide
  • trend
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • grow
  • drop
  • go up
  • go down
  • peak
  • highest
  • lowest
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • as
  • with
  • in
  • over the period
  • by 2007
  • during the period
  • around
  • in 1967
  • in 2007
  • compare
  • contrast
  • different
  • similar
  • policy
  • energy
  • industry
  • economy
  • wealth
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