IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Use synonyms
Education
Replace the word
Educational
show examples
 background has always been considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the most influential aspects
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one’s career path. Some believe that it is necessary for countries to invest in
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others argue that vocational training courses should be spent money on for practical skills. I strongly believe that investing in vocational training courses would be more beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on
this
Linking Words
 view. There is an undeniable fact that
university
Use synonyms
 programs would offer plenty of opportunities after graduation.
This
Linking Words
 is because people can get access to in-depth knowledge and broaden their horizons in various academic fields
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as teachers, social studies and economics.
However
Linking Words
, only focusing on these academic fields would create a stigma that students who enter
university
Use synonyms
 would receive more privileges than
the ones
Use the right word
those
show examples
 who
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
 to
reach
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there may be more unemployed youngsters who
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
live totally based on the support from the government. Investing in
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 would be beneficial as well, but
this
Linking Words
 would put more emphasis on financial burdens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 families who cannot afford
their
Verb problem
to send their
show examples
 children to
enter
Verb problem
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
 would be less respected in society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, focusing on practical training would give these individuals a chance to give their lives another try to strive for their future. In conclusion, I enthusiastically go for the idea that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend more money on vocational training because it will create more social
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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structure
Make your plan clear. Each paragraph should have one main idea that supports your view.
language
Use simple and direct language. Short sentences help keep meaning clear.
examples
Give real examples from life or work to back your point.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'for this reason'.
conclusion
Finish with a strong conclusion that restates your view and the main idea.
grammar
Check grammar. Some sentences are long and hard to read.
content
You show a clear view that vocational training is better.
structure
There is a link from intro to conclusion.
language
Some good word choice and effort in form.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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