Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

In the present day, there is a growing debate about what to include in the syllabus for children.

Accordingly

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, some believe that aesthetic

subjects

Use synonyms

are not essential during

primary

Correct article usage

the primary

show examples

ages. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with the statement because there are many benefits outlined below. First and foremost,

undoubtedly

Punctuation problem

undoubtedly,

show examples

engagement in art can reduce anxiety and stress, as shown in research. Only one part of the human brain is capable of responding to art, music and drama, which is different from the part used for mathematics. In fact, the equal development of both is required for personal growth.

Further

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, students who are inherently talented in these

subjects

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are discovered only if they are given an opportunity.

Therefore

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, it is evident that completely removing art

subjects

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from the syllabus is not a better approach.

Secondly

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, children often get opportunities to work in a team during aesthetic

subjects

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For example

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, school bands consist of a group, and their unity directly affects the output.

Accordingly

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, these

subjects

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are helpful in developing teamwork and self-esteem and eliminating shyness among peers.

For instance

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, most pupils in primary school are often keen to perform at a concert

at the end

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of the year.The appreciation from parents and teachers, even a simple clap, can entirely change a younger one’s life. In fact, that feeling of motivation is playing a major role in their little world. In conclusion,

although

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it seems like aesthetic

subjects

Use synonyms

are not vital for children, as discussed above, they play a major role in their younger periodTherefore, I completely disagree with the opinion about removing those

subjects

Use synonyms

.s.

wm.asanka.sandaruwan

Aug 13, 2025

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structure

Plan your answer well. Start with a clear view in the intro and end with a short line that repeats this view.

coherence

Use easy links to move from one idea to the next. Use words like first, also, but, for example to show the next idea.

examples

Give real and clear examples. The band idea is good, but add more exact cases.

grammar

Keep to simple words. Use short sentences. Check comma and full stop use.

content

Make your ideas fit the task. Do not add ideas not asked for.

stance

Clear view that art, music and drama help kids.

content

Two good ideas: lower worry and help team work.

examples

Good use of example about bands and concerts.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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