IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities, Jakarta, Sao Paulo, and Shanghai. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities, Jakarta, Sao Paulo, and Shanghai. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates information about how populous
three
Use synonyms
 cities were in the two years 1990 and 2000, showing both projected and actual figures.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
three
Use synonyms
 countries experienced a growth in population after a decade, with a positive actual growth compared to the forecast.
Sao
Correct your spelling
São
 Paulo was the most populous city among the
three
Use synonyms
 cities throughout the years. In 1990, there were 17
million
Use synonyms
 citizens in Sao Paulo, recording the largest population, double that of Jakarta, followed by Shanghai with 13
million
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure was projected to increase by 5
million
Use synonyms
 by 2000.
Similarly
Linking Words
, a rise of 3
million
Use synonyms
 was expected in Jakarta,
whereas
Linking Words
 a negative growth of one
million
Use synonyms
 was expected in Shanghai. Ten years later, the actual figure for San Paolo climbed by 2
million
Use synonyms
 above the forecast, reaching 24
million
Use synonyms
 and remaining the most populous city.
Similarly
Linking Words
, both Jakarta's population grew to 13
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000, 2
million
Use synonyms
 than expected, and Shanghai experienced a four-
million
Use synonyms
 rise, which was the highest increase among the
three
Use synonyms
 cities, hitting 15
million
Use synonyms
, securing its second position.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: