Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is nothing useful for zoo. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

There is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
ongoing debate about the existence of zoological
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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. Some
people
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claim it can only deprive
animals
Use synonyms
freedom,
while
Linking Words
others believe it can teach lessons about environmental
issues
Use synonyms
. In my view, I support
Correct article usage
the organization
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organization
Use the right word
organisation
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of zoological
park
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parks
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because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can enlighten environmental problems and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
conservation
Correct article usage
the conservation
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of endangered species. Animal welfare of exhibition
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
is regarded as a world standard since the first
elephant
Use synonyms
introduced
Verb problem
was introduced
show examples
to
London
Correct article usage
the London
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zoo
Use synonyms
.
Staffs
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Staff
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used
metal
Correct article usage
a metal
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chain to deal with the aggressive male
elephant
Use synonyms
,
due to
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the death of the female
elephant
Use synonyms
.
Although
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the chain made
Correct article usage
the staffs
show examples
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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work safe, it was painful for the
elephant
Use synonyms
. It made
people
Use synonyms
think about the way they treat
zoo
Use synonyms
animals
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at that point. Even
most
Correct word choice
though most
show examples
of the
issues
Use synonyms
are tackled, many
people
Use synonyms
still
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that keeping
animals
Use synonyms
away from their habitat deprives their freedom to live in a natural environment.
Moreover
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
can potentially shorten
Use synonyms
animals
Check wording
animals'
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life expectancy
due to
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limited knowledge of the animal. Not all
animal's
Check wording
animals'
show examples
ecology is fully unveiled
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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it may be difficult to cure when they get sick, which ultimately causes animal death.
On the other hand
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, there are some
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
that only
zoo
Use synonyms
animals
Use synonyms
can teach.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can teach environmental
issues
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of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
habitats
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as orangutans in the rainforest. Orangutans are endangered
due to
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shrinking habitat caused by
deforestration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
. Most
people
Use synonyms
are often ignorant of environmental
issues
Use synonyms
in other countries
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as drought,
hypertemprature
Correct your spelling
hyperthermperature
, and
deforestration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
, which can lead to animal extinction. Providing information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Check wording
animals'
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natural surroundings through exhibition
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can improve
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
awareness of the problem. Most
people
Use synonyms
become more interested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
issues
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by relating
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
endangerment
due to
Linking Words
human activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if zoological gardens work together, they can conserve endangered
animals
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by breeding them artificially in sheltered
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
. If an animal
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
extinct, it is almost impossible to recreate them completely the same. It is significant for
people
Use synonyms
to make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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to prevent
such
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tragedy
Correct article usage
a tragedy
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from happening rather than
expecting
Verb problem
relying
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on future
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
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. In Japan,
Brakistons
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the Brackish
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fishing owl was endangered
due to
Linking Words
car accidents and river pollution. It only recovered
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
number
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
conservation cooperation activities by the governments and zoos. In my opinion, it is undeniable that keeping
animals
Use synonyms
in cages
suppress
Correct subject-verb agreement
suppresses
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
from acting freely.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
zoo
Correct article usage
a zoo
show examples
can provide opportunities for individuals to learn about
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
of the
animals
Use synonyms
and think about the environment. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
there are some problems about keeping
Use synonyms
animals
Punctuation problem
animals,
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
ecology is not fully researched,
Use synonyms
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
can bring
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
to enlighten
people
Use synonyms
to address environmental
issues
Use synonyms
and
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve
show examples
animal species. I believe
Use synonyms
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
can be beneficial if only
people
Use synonyms
make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
to
environmental
Verb problem
provide environmental
show examples
enrichment, and
also
Linking Words
keep researching
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
in their fields.

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planning
State your view clearly in the opening paragraph and keep it in all parts of the essay.
structure
Make one main point in each paragraph and start with a topic sentence.
language
Use simple, short sentences. Break long ideas into smaller parts.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar (ongoing, deforestation, habitats, endangered).
cohesion
Use linking words to show order and aid flow (for example: first, also, however, finally).
content
The writer states a view and uses examples.
structure
Some links between ideas are used to show thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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