IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

more and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. why do you think this is happening? is it a positive or negative trend?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 visiting famous tourist attractions would rather take
selfies
Use synonyms
 than actually appreciate the place because they are addicted
Change preposition
to on
show examples
on posting
Correct word order
posting on
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may adversely affect social values.
People
Use synonyms
 spend time and
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 filming themselves in front of famous spots without curiosity
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 knowing the place
due to
Linking Words
 the popularity of
playing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
social
Media
Use synonyms
. Statistic shows that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more than 300 million internet
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 surfing on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok every single day.
People
Use synonyms
 are obsessed
to post
Change preposition
with posting
show examples
selfies
Use synonyms
 in different occasions
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 museum exhibitions, pop music events, and historical
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
. It seems that it doesn’t matter if you really enjoyed the journey
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 there are thumbs up and
subscribes
Replace the word
subscriptions
show examples
 on social
media
Use synonyms
. We have to admit that technological advance changes the modality of social life, in which
people
Use synonyms
 prefer communicating with others in virtual
word
Use the right word
world
show examples
 over in reality. Taking
selfies
Use synonyms
 at tourist attractions without
literately
Replace the word
literally
show examples
 visiting the place may pose unhealthy values in society. Scenic spots like
Roman
Correct article usage
the Roman
show examples
 Church,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Bridge and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 Great Wall often have significant historical
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
academic
Correct word choice
and academic
show examples
 meaning. If
people
Use synonyms
 arrive there just for a picture of
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, how stupid and shallow they could be.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 others are sticking
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 middle of working tasks, you are showing off your vacation time with pictures and videos on social
media
Use synonyms
, which may create a sense of inequality and jealousy. Sociologists have pointed out that exposing too much luxury lifestyle would make the public feel anxious and stressed. To
summarize
Use the right word
summarise
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 neglect scenic spots but are in
favor
Use the right word
favour
show examples
 of taking
selfies
Use synonyms
 on account of indulging in social
media
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has a detrimental effect on social value.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make the essay flow by using clear main ideas in each paragraph. Start with a simple intro that state the view and a short outline of points. End with a short conclusion that restates the view.
structure
Build your paragraphs with one idea each. Begin with a topic sentence, then add a simple reason and a small example.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling mistakes that slow read. Use simple, correct forms like to + verb, past form, and plural s where needed.
grammar
Use proper forms for numbers and facts. Check phrases like statistics show, millions, etc. Be careful with 'social media' and 'world'.
content
Use more clear examples. Explain how the example shows the point and why it matters.
tone
Keep a calm tone. Avoid words that are strong or insulting. IELTS likes formal tone.
planning
Make a short plan before you write. Decide what two or three points you will show, and in what order.
strength
You take a clear view that selfie trends affect social values.
strength
You use examples to support your point.
strength
The idea is easy to follow and you end with a summary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Visual content
  • Landmarks
  • Likes and followers
  • Selfie
  • Trophy
  • Validation
  • Accomplishment
  • Technological advancements
  • Smartphone cameras
  • Photography-focused tourism
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Immersing
  • Local economy
  • Cultural significance
  • Backdrops
  • Photographic evidence
  • Overcrowding
  • Wear and tear
What to do next:
Look at other essays: