IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that artworks (e.g. painting, music, poetry) can be created by everybody, whereas others say they can only be made by those with special ability. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether anybody can create
artworks
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 or only who with special talent can achieve
that is
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 more reasonable.
While
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 both views have their own metrics, I am inclined
that
Verb problem
to believe that
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 there is no limitation for creating
artworks
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. On the one hand, some
people
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 argue that
everyone
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 can create
artworks
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. They believe that
everyone
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 can create fantastic
artworks
Use synonyms
 after long-term study and exercise.
For instance
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, a great Chinese shrimp painter
Qi
Punctuation problem
, Qi
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Baishi
Punctuation problem
Baishi,
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wasn’t
Verb problem
didn’t
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showing
Wrong verb form
show
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 talent in drawing when he first studied art
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 ultimately could draw shrimps vividly after
practicing
Use the right word
practising
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 thousands of times. So
that is
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 the reason why
people
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 believe
artworks
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 can be created by everybody.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 hold
a
Correct article usage
the
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 view that only
people
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 with special
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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 can create
artworks
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.
This
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 is mainly because most of the artists show special talent since they were children
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 their
art works
Use the right word
artworks
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 are always better than others’. To illustrate,
study
Correct article usage
a study
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 shows some
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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born
Verb problem
are born
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 with
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 gene which
let
Wrong verb form
lets
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 them create
artworks
Use synonyms
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 than others.
Consequently
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, more
people
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 tend to believe
only
Correct word choice
that only
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people
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 with special abilities can make
artworks
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.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, there is no limitation for creating
artworks
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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everyone
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 can create diverse
artworks
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.
People
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 without special capability can
also
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 create good
art works
Use the right word
artworks
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 after study and practice. Though sometimes their artwork was not
recognized
Use the right word
recognised
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 by
public
Correct article usage
the public
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, that’s still an artwork confirming the efforts they made. In conclusion, though some
people
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 confirm that only
people
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 with special
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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 can create
artworks
Use synonyms
, I strongly support that
everyone
Use synonyms
 can create
artworks
Use synonyms
.

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positive
Your essay shows both sides and your view; keep this balance in future essays.
grammar/clarity
Some sentences are long and may be hard to read; break them into shorter sentences.
grammar
Use clear and correct grammar; fix phrases like 'only who with special talent'.
content
Add more specific, accurate examples and avoid claims without proof.
content
Clear opinion is stated at the end.
structure
Two opposing ideas are shown to balance the essay.
examples
An example (Qi Baishi) shows how practice can help art.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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