IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism helps promote a country’s or a region’s culture. At the same time, there is concern about its negative effects on the preservation of local cultures. For a local culture, do the disadvantages of tourism outweigh the advantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world,
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry has increased significantly worldwide.
Along with
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 its popularity, some people are
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about its
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effects on local
culture
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry has
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 positive impact on
Use synonyms
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 of a particular nation.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the merits of
tourism
Use synonyms
 on local traditions.
To begin
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 with, the primary advantage of
tourism
Use synonyms
 in a country is the promotion of local
culture
Use synonyms
 and tradition.
In other words
Linking Words
, when tourists from other nations travel to another country, they explore their food, lifestyle, and cultural activities with authenticity by engaging with locals,
then
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 share their
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others.
For example
Linking Words
, many
youtubers
Use the right word
YouTubers
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 are visiting the
maasai
Fix capitalization
Maasai
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 tribe in Tanzania, celebrating and promoting their traditional festivals through posting
videography
Check wording
videos
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 on the internet to others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 helps financially and encourages to
preserve
Replace the word
preservation
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the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 historical sites. To make it clearer, when tourist visits any nation, they spend lots of money in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of food, travel, and accommodation and generate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revenue for that region. In return, the government of that area invest to maintain the tourist sites or historical
monoments
Correct your spelling
monuments
.
For instance
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, approximately two millions
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreigners visits the Taj
mahal
Fix capitalization
Mahal
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 in India every year and generate billions of dollars for the authority.
As a result
Linking Words
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 council hires multiple staff members for the maintenance and security of The Taj Mahal. In conclusion, in spite of negative effects,
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry is more beneficial for local
culture
Use synonyms
. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it widespread the popularity of any country's ritual ,
Correct pronoun usage
it support
show examples
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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 economically to preserve historical
monoments
Correct your spelling
monuments
.

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structure
Make the plan clear in the first paragraph, with your key idea and how you will prove it.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit and to move from one idea to the next.
content
Give more care to facts and how they back your view; explain the link between example and idea.
language
Check spell and word use; fix wrong words and form to make a smooth read.
content
The argument is clear that tourism can be good for culture.
structure
The essay uses simple stages like 'To begin with' and 'In conclusion' to show the plan.
language
The style uses a easy pace that helps the reader take in ideas.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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