IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want governments to spend money on other plants to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over it value of investing in area programs. In my opinion, given the existing problems on Earth, field programs should not receive government funding. Undoubtedly, space exploration has potential benefits. Since finding another habitable planet for the survival of humanity
due to
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 threats like climate change and overpopulation.
In addition
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, technological breakthroughs from the area of research are useful for humanity.
For instance
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, there is miniaturisation of technology leading to portable medical devices,
such
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 as insulin pumps, improved water purification systems, and enhanced materials for industries.
Therefore
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, field study can be beneficial in medicine, technology and industry.
On the other hand
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, there are huge ethical concerns regarding funding allocation.
For example
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, the injustice of investment in an area when millions suffer from malnutrition or poverty, especially in countries like India.
Moreover
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, space exploration can lead to a lack of tangible results. Since the moon landing, there has been no significant improvement in the lives of ordinary people.
Thus
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, funds could be better allocated to essential areas
such
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 as education, healthcare, and infrastructure. In conclusion, field research offers insight and spin-off technologies;
however
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 is a poor use of taxpayer money given the pressing needs on Earth.
In
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From
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 my point of view, ethical concerns and lack of tangible benefits outweigh the potential advantages of space exploration.

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task response
In task response, make your main view clear in the first lines and back it with two or three strong ideas. Give one clear example for each idea to show why you think so.
coherence cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, plan your writing first. Put ideas in a simple order and link them with short words like and, but, so. Make sentences short and easy to read.
structure
You show a view on both sides and give your own stance.
cohesion
You use some link words to show contrast.
content
You give real life examples to back your idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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