IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The relative benefits and drawbacks of
children
Use synonyms
 learning a second
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
 rather than high
school
Use synonyms
 are
matter
Correct article usage
a matter
show examples
 of debate. In my opinion, there are negatives of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon , these are overridden by
poistives
Correct your spelling
positives
. On the one hand, there are two clear
disdvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation. It will cause stress and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of interest among
children
Use synonyms
 toward academics. Primarily ,
juvenile
Correct article usage
the juvenile
show examples
 stage is meant for fun activities or games. Inculcation of
completely
Correct article usage
a completely
show examples
 different
language
Use synonyms
 into
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lower standard will create
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
 burden among
children
Use synonyms
. There might be chances that they will lose interest in other subjects, though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they are more inclined toward learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 its complexity.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it leads to
lesser
Correct word choice
a lower
show examples
 grade in other crucial subjects,
such
Linking Words
 as mathematics or science.
However
Linking Words
, despite the disadvantages,
this
Linking Words
 situation can be
considerded
Correct your spelling
considered
 largely
adventageous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, during early
school
Use synonyms
 age,
children
Use synonyms
 have good abilities to grasp a new
language
Use synonyms
. In
juvenile
Correct article usage
the juvenile
show examples
 stage, academic abilities
such
Linking Words
 as listening and learning a new subject are more
prnounced
Correct your spelling
pronounced
 among
children
Use synonyms
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, with the introduction of new
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 in
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum, minors have a lot of time to practise the
language
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 less academic workload than secondary
school
Use synonyms
. Not only
this
Linking Words
, when they enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high
school
Use synonyms
 , till
then
Linking Words
, they will master
this
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the cons of minors learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
 are undeniable, these are not as significant as
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 of mastering a
language
Use synonyms
 at an early age
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the availibilty
show examples
availibilty
Correct your spelling
availability
 of
free-time
Use the right word
free time
show examples
 and
grasping
Correct article usage
the grasping
show examples
 power of young minds.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep one main idea per paragraph.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go together and keep a easy order.
content
Give small, real examples to back your points, even simple ones.
language
Check spelling and grammar so it does not blur your meaning.
strength
The piece shows a view on the topic.
strength
Some link words were used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • learn
  • language
  • early
  • school
  • child
  • time
  • good
  • bad
  • idea
  • point
  • plan
  • teach
  • teacher
  • class
  • home
  • family
  • money
  • cost
  • help
  • grow
  • mind
  • brain
  • hear
  • speak
  • listen
  • read
  • write
  • study
  • choice
  • future
  • success
  • risk
  • fear
  • hope
  • interest
  • motivation
  • stress
  • balance
  • other
  • work
  • play
  • life
  • first
  • years
  • easy
  • hard
  • use
  • today
  • this
  • that
What to do next:
Look at other essays: