IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Other argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is an argued issue whether youngsters ought to do
part-
Correct article usage
a part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job or not in order to get money.
This
Linking Words
 helps them to learn some fundamental values.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not discuss both viewpoints
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 my opinion will
also
Linking Words
highlighted
Verb problem
be highlighted
show examples
while
Linking Words
 concluding
this
Linking Words
. I believe that youth should become independent. Commencing with the most salient reason why
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 opinion that youngsters should not engage in part-
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 is that doing
work
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 study can create some health-related hazards,
such
Linking Words
 as anxiety, depression, and undue stress. Limited
time
Use synonyms
 is left for their daily activities, namely
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
together with
Linking Words
 friends, and indoor and outdoor games. To illustrate, a teenager who
Use synonyms
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 and
study
Replace the word
studies
show examples
 together may
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 to hang out with their
aged-mates
Use the right word
age-mates
show examples
. After
work
Use synonyms
, they have to complete
Correct pronoun usage
their school-work
show examples
school-
Use the right word
schoolwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. It is quite
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
 task for them. Despite the above given arguments, I contend that youth should undertake part-
time
Use synonyms
 employment
while
Linking Words
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 because it is the best
time
Use synonyms
 for them to handle both
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 together.
This
Linking Words
 way they cannot only learn the importance of
time
Use synonyms
 and money
also
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their early age.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 youth should not do a part-
time
Use synonyms
 job in order to spend some
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their activities, I
contemplate
Verb problem
contend
show examples
 that part-
time
Use synonyms
 job teaches them essential skills
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 helpful for their later life.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear intro, two body parts (for and against), and a short conclusion.
grammar
Work on grammar. Use 'work' with care and keep subject and verb together.
vocabulary
Use simple words and short sentences. This helps the reader to follow.
examples
Give a specific example to show your point.
content
Attempts to present both sides and give an opinion
content
Mention health and time by work and study
structure
Ending shows opinion

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Part-time job
  • Financial literacy
  • Work ethic
  • Discipline
  • Job market
  • Academic performance
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Labor laws
  • Work-life balance
  • Skill development
  • Monetary independence
  • Career prospects
  • Time management
  • Peer pressure
  • Rest and recreation
  • Minimum wage
  • Skillset enhancement
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Personal growth
  • Adolescent development
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