IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and less pressure on the world’s fuel resources To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a belief that financial survival in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 world should be taught to minors by their
studying
Correct word choice
educational
show examples
places
Check wording
institutions
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. I totally agree with the given statement
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
this
Linking Words
 can help students with job search and will make them more economically responsible.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, education in finances provided by schools can contribute to more successful work searching among graduates.
In other words
Linking Words
, pupils become more acknowledged
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how to find better employment
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 through information from
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the Cambridge research, there was a higher percentage of working individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 had education in
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 branch, in comparison to those who did not
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
 any knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 finances.
Thus
Linking Words
, schools should
tutor
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 juveniles how to survive financially.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another reason for the statement is that teenagers become better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 managing their own money.
This
Linking Words
 means that people can have higher awareness of how to save and earn wealth effectively. To illustrate, graduates
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 Nazarbayev University in Kazakhstan, Astana, who learned financial literacy during
adolescence
Punctuation problem
adolescence,
show examples
 had no money struggles after becoming adults.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 teaching in academic years is beneficial for youth. Having taken the above-mentioned arguments into account,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 nowadays, schools should ensure adolescents with
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 tutoring since it makes job finding easier and boosts their responsibility in finances

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language
Fix grammar and word use. Use simple and clear form.
structure
Make ideas clearer and link them better. Use one idea per paragraph.
structure
Add a short, clear closing part that sums up your view.
content
Use real or simple examples that fit the idea.
content
Clear stance that schools should teach money skills.
structure
Basic ideas are easy to follow.
content
Two supporting ideas are used.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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