IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think that there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many
people
Use synonyms
 think going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is a good
way
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 to stay fit.
While
Linking Words
 others feel that there are more effective ways to stay fit without going to the
gym
Use synonyms
, I totally agree with the second view because going to the
gym
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 is not the only
way
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 to have a good body. We can
work
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 out at home
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
, a
lot
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 of
people
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 don't have the
money
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 to subscribe to a membership.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals who think that going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is the best
way
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 to stay fit think so because of a
lot
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 of reasons. One of the main reasons is that they think
people
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 who go to the
gym
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 gonna be more productive and more consistent. They can see a
lot
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 of
people
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 who do the same thing .
Also
Linking Words
, the
gym
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 provides all the gadgets they need to use
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can help them build muscles more efficiently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
say there are more efficient ways they can stay healthy and fit without going to the
gym
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. From their perspective, they believe that working out at home is more convenient than going out to the
gym
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 for a
lot
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 of reasons .One , they can
work
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 out anywhere any anytime. They can
also
Linking Words
 prevent noisy places.
In addition
Linking Words
, they think that not a
lot
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 of
people
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 have enough
money
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 to subscribe to a membership. In conclusion, I think going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 is not the only
way
Use synonyms
 that we can
work
Use synonyms
 out , and not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to have a subscription , so I think the most convenient
way
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 is to
work
Use synonyms
 out at home because it does the same thing but with less
money
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with 4 clear parts: intro, view 1, view 2, conclusion. Make each idea in its own line.
structure
Use topic sentence in each paragraph to show the point.
coherence
Link words to show order and view changes, such as 'also', 'however', 'but', 'therefore'.
content
Give more examples that fit the view. Use simple facts like 'home workouts can be done at home with no gym fee'.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling for clear meaning. Use simple words.
content
The essay states a clear view that gym is not the only way.
structure
It discusses both views, not just one.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • access to equipment
  • professional guidance
  • social aspect
  • diverse range
  • cost-effective
  • fitness regimes
  • holistic
  • flexible timing
  • monotonous
  • intimidation
  • functional fitness
  • sustainable
  • integration
  • active hobbies
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