IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

it is importtant for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that there are two kinds of people who take
risks
Use synonyms
.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that the community takes
risks
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their professional lives. There is
also
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 an argument that the other party took on the responsibility of
risks
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 in their personal lives. 
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, people will be more confident when they take on the dangers by showing their families that they are strong.
In other words
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, some cultures need to be stronger to get married.
In addition
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, if the human takes the
Use synonyms
risks
Punctuation problem
risks,
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 he will gain a lot of money.
For example
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, my uncle was married after showing his skills.
On the other hand
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, it is important to be more polite at work to help you get promoted as soon as possible. It is
also
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 possible to say that the managers are always smart
due to
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 commitite to their company.
Moreover
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, one of the most important skills that people should know is to relax and not be aggressive.
For instance
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, my
father
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father,
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 when he was working as a supervisor he always got angry about the new employee because they didn't know anything about the value that the company gave them. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question
,
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;
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 on balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that important to gain some skills that help you to work easily
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such
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, such
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 as communication, quiet and polite.

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structure
Plan a clear view at the start. State if you agree or not and then give two ideas in short form.
development
Make each paragraph have one main point and a link to risk in work or life.
development
Use more clear examples that show how taking risk can help in work or life.
language
Use simple connect words to join ideas, like also, but, so, and however.
language
Check spelling and grammar so the meaning is easy to see.
structure
Finish with a strong conclusion that repeats your view and sums up the main idea.
structure
The essay starts with a plan and a view.
development
It tries to give real life examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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