IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Due to advances in science, it is now possible for people to live to 100 years old or even longer. While some people think it is a good thing, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that scientific studies have shown that
people
Use synonyms
 can live longer.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that it is a perfect thing that humans will get up to 100 years old. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that the other does not like to get older.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 like to live with family to be happy and closer.
In other words
Linking Words
, all communities will be sad if they lose their parents.
In addition
Linking Words
, the society will more stronger and confident.
For example
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, my uncle loved his parents after that he got sad because he lost them. 
On the other hand
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, there is no health care for older men or women
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 their abilities will be less. It is possible to say that when the orders get tired
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 will recover them
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Moreover
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, in China, there are a lot of hospital that usually cares about the
elderly
Punctuation problem
elderly,
show examples
 even though if you
call
Punctuation problem
call,
show examples
 they will come to your home quickly.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2020, the coronavirus killed a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 100 years old or older because their immunity was weak. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question, on balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that if the country builds more government care will be easier for
people
Use synonyms
 the live.

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planning
Plan a clear intro: state the topic and your view at the end of the intro. Then put two body paragraphs for each side and end with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence
Use simple links to show ideas go one to the next. Words like also, but, however, and then help flow.
content
Give two or three clear ideas for each side. Use a simple example that fits the topic.
task achievement
The student shows both sides and gives an opinion.
coherence
There is an attempt to use signpost words 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • life expectancy
  • healthcare system
  • wisdom
  • resource scarcity
  • advancements
  • social support
  • lifelong learning
  • environmental impact
  • consumption
  • technological changes
  • personal and societal growth
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