IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. m Average distance in miles traveled per person per year, by mode of travel

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. m Average distance in miles traveled per person per year, by mode of travel
‏The
Given
Fix capitalization
given
show examples
 table depicts the distance
Change preposition
in mile
show examples
mile
Fix the agreement mistake
miles
show examples
of change and modes of
travel
Use synonyms
England in
Correct word order
in England
show examples
 the year 1985 to 2000 by mode of
travel
Use synonyms
. Looking at the graph from
general
Correct article usage
a general
show examples
 perspective modes for 1985
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 4740 and 6475 for
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
 for all modes of
travel
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 the most popular
to
Check wording
way to
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
by
Verb problem
was by
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it's stay
Verb problem
it remained
show examples
 the famous
way
Use synonyms
 in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
. In 1985
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
it was 3199 per
person
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who use
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
this
Linking Words
method
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
 it was
4 806
Correct your spelling
4,806
.
Then
Linking Words
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 bus in 1985. It was 429
Use synonyms
person
Check wording
people who
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
2000s
Punctuation problem
2000s,
show examples
 it 274
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. then
show examples
then walking
Rephrase
Walking
show examples
it's
Verb problem
was
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 hard
method
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
; in
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 273
while
Linking Words
 in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 it's 255.
In contrast
Linking Words
, come train and taxi, long
distance
Use the right word
long-distance
show examples
 bus.
Train it
Verb problem
It
show examples
 was
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comfortable
method
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
 and
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
It was
Verb problem
.
show examples
 366
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Correct your spelling
way
way
Use synonyms
 but in 1985
it was
Verb problem
,
show examples
 289
person
Use synonyms
.
Long distance
Use the right word
Long-distance
show examples
 bus was
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
method
Use synonyms
 people
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 in
1985
Correct article usage
the 1985
show examples
 and 2000s
while
Linking Words
Change preposition
in 1985
show examples
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 54
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
increase
Punctuation problem
, increase
show examples
 in 2000 to 124
per
Check wording
people in 2000
show examples
person
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
taxi
Correct article usage
the taxi
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the least
Use synonyms
way
Verb problem
used way
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 was 13 people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
be
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 42
Punctuation problem
. It's
show examples
It's
Verb problem
It
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Another
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 in 1985 was 450
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, but in 2000
it's be
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 585
Punctuation problem
. .at
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
At
at the end
Linking Words
 table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the increase and decrease for
Use synonyms
method
Check wording
people
show examples
to
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
travel
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, way, person, use, method with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average distance
  • miles traveled
  • mode of travel
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant change
  • most popular
  • least popular
  • external influences
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • environmental impact
  • societal impact
  • general trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: