IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The benefits of computers in modern society far outweigh the disadvantages. What do you think? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

The benefits of
computers
Use synonyms
 in modern society are very important. Technology advances in a huge way , leaving behind common situations
such
Linking Words
 as manual processes, delays and issues related to the
access
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 of
information
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, education and new
people
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.
This
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 essay will explain these
benefits
Punctuation problem
benefits,
show examples
 supported by personal opinions and examples.
First,
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Computers
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 change the way of work. In the past, when a person tried to make a financial report or even a simple record, it was needed to have all the notes in a notebook and written on paper with a writing machine.
In addition
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, all the accounting depended on the intelligence of the analyst and their own experience, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 nobody could ensure the quality of the final result. In short, everything was manual and always existed the risk of human mistakes and operational delays.
This
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 situation changed with the invention of
computers
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, which allowed
people
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 to correct mistakes and being faster with difficult operations
.
Rephrase
faster.
show examples
Second,
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Computers
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 change the
access
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 to
information
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, education and new
people
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,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
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 was possible with the internet, where
people
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 could find current news, online courses and e-books in the same place. In the past,
this
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 was not possible because all the
information
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 was in different places and not all
people
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 could get that despite their social or economic position.
In addition
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,
access
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 to education or knowledge depended on visits to libraries , and
finally
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, if someone wanted to meet new
people
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, it was necessary to go to a bar or a pub. Indeed, the internet broke those habits, giving the opportunity to have each of these items on a website. In conclusion,
computers
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 changed our way of living and working.
This
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 was possible
due to
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computers
Use synonyms
 giving the opportunity to connect
people
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, knowledge and ideas with the internet, where everybody can
access
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 all the
information
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 in the same place.

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task response
Add a clear view at the start about whether you think benefits beat limits, and say it again at the end.
structure
Plan the essay with a simple form: intro, two body parts, and a short end that restates your view.
examples
Give 2 or 3 real but simple examples to show each idea.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas well (First, Also, But, So).
grammar
Check grammar and keep verbs and tenses steady. Use short sentences to avoid mistakes.
content
The topic is clear and the main view is in the intro.
structure
coherence
Good links like First and Second help the flow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • computer
  • internet
  • online
  • work
  • time
  • help
  • save
  • fast
  • easy
  • learn
  • school
  • home
  • people
  • good
  • bad
  • risk
  • health
  • doctor
  • map
  • plan
  • new
  • idea
  • talk
  • share
  • money
  • buy
  • sell
  • job
  • grow
  • safe
  • use
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