IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the present and planned development in the biomedical campus of a university

The diagram below shows the present and planned development in the biomedical campus of a university
The maps give detailed information about how
Biomedical
Correct article usage
the Biomedical
show examples
 campus of a university will develop in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clear
Verb problem
is clear
show examples
 that there will be dramatic changes in the structure of
Biomedical
Correct article usage
the Biomedical
show examples
 campus
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 in the development of
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 and garden. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that
Use synonyms
lab
Correct article usage
the lab
show examples
 and
genetics
Use synonyms
 will remain more or less
changed
Use the right word
unchanged
show examples
 over the given period Looking at the details,
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park was next to the garden
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
located
Verb problem
is located
show examples
 in the north
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there is
road
Correct article usage
a road
show examples
 in under of
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the
lab
Use synonyms
 was located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
west of the university and there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 two trees
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the under
Correct word order
under the
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lab
Use synonyms
. But, biochemistry
in
Verb problem
is in
show examples
 front of these and there is a walkway behind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it. Biotech and
genetics
Use synonyms
 are opposite each other, whilst a second
lab
Use synonyms
located
Verb problem
is located
show examples
 in front of the
genetics
Use synonyms
. The biomedical campus will be changed dramatically in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, the garden will be destroyed in order to build
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
genetics
Use synonyms
 and bioimaging.
Car
Correct article usage
The car
show examples
 park will be for only
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in the northeast,
while
Linking Words
 staff can
parking
Replace the word
park
show examples
 in the car park which will be in the southwest next to the new road which will surround
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the university. Biochemistry will not change place,
however
Linking Words
, it will be
done
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enlarge
Wrong verb form
enlarged
show examples
 as a biothech in the future. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changes,
genetics
Use synonyms
,
lab
Use synonyms
 and walkway will stay unchanged.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words lab, genetics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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