IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In numerous places in the world,
students
Use synonyms
 must pay for their university
education
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in others, governments cover these costs.
Although
Linking Words
 some argue that free higher
education
Use synonyms
 has disadvantages, I believe it brings more advantages to the nation.
First,
Linking Words
if the government pays for tuition, most
students
Use synonyms
 gain equal opportunities to continue their studies at higher levels. Nobody would fail to achieve their educational goals
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of money.
As a result
Linking Words
, the country would have more well-educated people who can support it with their professional skills. The money earned by these professionals may compensate for what the government spends on scholarships.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, too much support for
education
Use synonyms
 can create problems. Overcrowded universities may lead to busy classes, lowering the quality of
education
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 might struggle to handle real-life problems if classes are too full.
Additionally
Linking Words
, factories and farms need simple workers, but educated people often refuse to work as
laborers
Use the right word
labourers
show examples
. In my
neighborhood
Use the right word
neighbourhood
show examples
, because of excessive financial help, many
students
Use synonyms
 continued their
education
Use synonyms
 in overcrowded classes without real benefits, leading to a shortage of workers in other jobs. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 too much aid for
students
Use synonyms
 may cause issues like
labor
Use the right word
labour
show examples
 shortages, I strongly believe governments should help people achieve their educational goals, especially in university studies, to build an expert nation

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: state your view clearly and give reasons. You do this, but add more real proof or facts to back it up.
task response
Task response: expand on how free ed cost affects the country; give a clear final idea in each main point.
cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: use topic sentences to start each paragraph; use linking words to connect ideas
cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: group similar ideas in one part; avoid long run on sentences; keep a steady flow
content
Clear view and good stance on the topic
structure
Use of linking words like First, On the other hand, In conclusion
structure
Intro and conclusion present

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • students
  • college
  • university
  • government
  • fees
  • education
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • work
  • afford
  • society
  • debt
  • facilities
  • resources
  • quality
  • overcrowding
  • graduates
  • invest
  • homes
  • businesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: