IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation why might be the case ? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

People tend to
work
Use synonyms
 freelance rather than
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be employed by someone. There might be some advantages,
while
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 they could face some challenges. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both, benefits and drawbacks of self-employment. People choose self-employment for several beneficial reasons.
Firstly
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, independent
work
Use synonyms
 benefits us with freedom. That means self-employed individuals could spend more time with family.
For example
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, my uncle , after quitting his office
job
Punctuation problem
job,
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 started to participate in his children's life more often, which allowed him to visit facilities and events that the school organises.
Secondly
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, less pressure from the
work
Use synonyms
 environment,
such
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 as being punished
because of
Change preposition
for
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 being late for
work
Use synonyms
.
Finally
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, freelance
work
Use synonyms
 could be more high-paying than office
work
Use synonyms
. Usually, freelancers earn much more than office workers, which helps them to build a more comfortable life.
However
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, working for oneself has disadvantages as well. Working in a corporation , compared to working alone, will allow you to join and become a part of a big community.
As a result
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, you might have built relationships with people in different industries and in various positions.
Also
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, working alone means unstable income, which could be a huge challenge for someone who has monthly payments ,
such
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 as rental payments.
Additionally
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, unstable income could create some
obsticles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
 in borrowing money from the bank. As the banks ask for proof of stable funds and
evidences
Fix the agreement mistake
evidence
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 that the loan
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be paid on time. In conclusion, self-employment could be a better choice for someone who does not need networking, likes to be free in their job and can handle the unstable income for creating their best life.

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language
Fix small grammar and spelling errors. Use simple forms and clear words.
coherence
Make each idea clearer; give one main idea per paragraph and add a bit of detail.
cohesion
Use more linking words to show order and contrast, like 'first', 'but', 'also', 'however'.
content
Add more examples or facts to back points.
style
Keep sentences short and easy to read; avoid long, complex phrases.
structure
Finish with a short restate of view in the end.
structure
There is a clear plan: intro, two body para and a end.
content
The essay looks at both plus and minus side.
content
An example is used from a family member.
cohesion
The writer uses 'Firstly','Secondly','Finally' to show order.
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