IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is happening? Do you think this will have a possitive or negative impact on society

In today's world, scientists are developing artificial intelligence and
robots
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 to replace human
beings
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 in the workplace. Because they believe that
robots
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 are more skilled than a real person. I totally think it will have a
lot
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 of negative impact on our society for many reasons. It will increase the level of unemployment among people .
Also
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, a
lot
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 of jobs require a sense of concentration in human
beings
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if we replace humans with
robots
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 in the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 will increase the unemployment rates in the world. In terms of, a
lot
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 of people are studying now in the future
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
they want a job. If they replace human
beings
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,
this
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 will lead to a lack of jobs.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will make our society have more problems.
For example
Linking Words
, the crimes will be everywhere.
In addition
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, there are a
lot
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 of jobs that require concentration and knowing the difference between what's right and what's wrong, which is in humans.
For instance
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, a
lot
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 of surgeons make decisions in almost every surgery and surgery. Need to know the consequences of
this
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 decision. In conclusion, I think it's really important not to replace human
beings
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 with artificial intelligence or
robots
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 because
this
Linking Words
 will have about impact on our world.

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structure
Plan your answer with a short intro, two or three big ideas in the body, and a clear end.
introduction
Make the intro short. State your view in one line at the end of the intro.
content
Expand each idea in its own paragraph and add one real example for each idea.
cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas go from one to the next (also, but, therefore).
language
Check grammar and spelling; use short, clear sentences to avoid errors.
idea
The writer states a clear view that AI has a bad effect.
cohesion
Use of link words shows an effort to connect ideas.
content
Some points match the topic, like unemployment and need for human skill.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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