IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that advertisements have a negative impact on children and should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
advertisements
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 have increased rapidly and are not controlled. The
children
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 are affected by
advertisements
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 in many ways.
This
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 essay will discuss the advertisement affecting of
children
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 and clarify my opinion.
Advertisements
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 impact
heaviely
Correct your spelling
heavily
on
children
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 for different reasons.
Firstly
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,
children
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 are not aware of good and bad advertising.
For example
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, fast food affects badly in child' bodies
because
Rephrase
badly because
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 it contains high levels of fats and sugars.
Secondly
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,
children
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 pester their parents to buy items that
were
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are
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 advertised on TV
regardless
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, regardless
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 of whether it is beneficial.
For instance
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, games are suitable for the age group +18 , not suitable for
children
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 younger than the specific age. We can address the
advertisements
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 and mitigate the effect on younger people by raising
awareness
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 of how to distinguish between good and bad advertising.
Moreover
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, catalogues and brochures enable
children
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 to see new products and is it suitable for them. In my opinion, I firmly believe that there is no need to advertise products that
effect
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affect
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children
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's health ,
such
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 as junk food.
Also
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, the type of advertisement should be controlled by the company
owner
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. In conclusion,
Advertisements
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 can significantly contribute to raising the
awareness
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 of
children
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.
Advertisements
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 should be controlled by the
owner
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 of the channel.In conclusion,
Advertisements
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 can significantly contribute to raising the
awareness
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 of
children
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.
Advertisements
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 should be controlled by the
owner
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 of the
channelIn
Correct your spelling
channel
 conclusion,
Advertisements
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 can significantly contribute to raising the
awareness
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 of
children
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.
Advertisements
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 should be controlled by the
owner
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 of the channel

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task
Be clear on your view. State a single agree/disagree stance in one line and then give two simple ideas to support it.
structure
Make one clear paragraph for each idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells the idea.
language
Use simple words and fix spelling or grammar. Short sentences are easier to read.
stance
The main idea about control of ads is clear.
content
Some examples are used, like fast food and age issue.
solutions
There is a plan to help fix the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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