IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a long weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, longer
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become increasingly controversial. Some people think that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
work day
Use the right word
workday
show examples
 should be decreased and
extended
Correct article usage
an extended
show examples
 weekend for
employees
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I think
lower
Correct word choice
a shorter
show examples
 working week may
contribute
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 more benefits for both employers and their workers. It is true that
employees
Use synonyms
 are just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 who need some
time
Use synonyms
 to regenerate themselves.
However
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, everyone has several responsibilities
needed
Wrong verb form
that need
show examples
 to be
responsed
Correct your spelling
responded
such
Linking Words
 as working at
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
, household chores, family and even their health, resulting in their stressful and chaos in their life. If
labours
Use the right word
labourers
show examples
 have more
time
Use synonyms
 to reorganise issues or prioritise their responsibilities, they could follow their plan more fluently and smoothly.
Consequently
Linking Words
, workers can perform
work
Use synonyms
 more
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
 because they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 avoid
multitasking
Punctuation problem
multitasking,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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causes
Wrong verb form
can cause
show examples
some mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 or anxiety.
In addition
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,
body
Correct word order
apply
show examples
of human
Correct word order
body require
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require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 rest
time
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to
workout
Use the right word
work out
show examples
. It would be better if
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 have
time
Use synonyms
 to take care
themselves
Change preposition
of themselves
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is possible that
employees
Use synonyms
 will take sick leave as they are healthier.
Secondly
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, in general, people will focus on only essential tasks when they have limited
time
Use synonyms
. If
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 implement
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
show examples
 working week,
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
labours
Use the right word
labourers
show examples
 have to finish and complete
work
Use synonyms
 within those working
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
companys'
Check wording
company's
show examples
 owners or bosses would be able to notice what
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
unecessaries
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 tasks. In the future, those
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 may be removed from
Use synonyms
work flows
Use the right word
workflows
show examples
. Not only reducing financial costs, but
also
Linking Words
 saving
time
Use synonyms
 when diminishing
unnessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
organisation
Correct article usage
the organisation
show examples
 could manage
work
Use synonyms
 more
effiency
Correct your spelling
efficiently
. In conclusion, I totally agree that reducing
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 week and
prolong
Wrong verb form
prolonging
show examples
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
 could enhance better
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
 of
employees
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their responsibilities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 companies will have more
effiently
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 in
company's
Check wording
their
show examples
 management.

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content
Add more clear reasons and make them easy to see. Use fewer words for each idea and give one clear example for each point.
coherence
Link ideas in a straight line. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and end with a short thought that links to the next idea.
language
Fix mistakes in spelling and word form. Use simple grammar and keep sentences short.
organization
Stick to one idea per paragraph and check the order of your arguments.
content
Your view is clear and you take a position on the topic.
structure
You use 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to show order of ideas.
structure
There is a conclusion that restates your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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