IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Internet is important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 learn better with the help of
an
Correct article usage
the
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 Internet,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools and teachers
broadens
Correct subject-verb agreement
broaden
show examples
 the horizons of knowledge more.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sides. Nowadays,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 has an answer
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each and every question we want to know about. But, it
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
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 the young
children
Use synonyms
 more than assisting. On top of
this
Linking Words
, social media is more challenging for parents in
this
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 era, as it contains all the stuff, which sometimes is not suitable for
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 studying on YouTube, advertisements divert the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 of students from
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, studying in schools
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 teachers is much more beneficial as student is not a passive learner but actively participate in each task. It vastly broadens their knowledge during the face-to-face classes, as all students share their views during the discussions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, young people utilise libraries to research something new, which is again an indispensable development. To exemplify, face-to-face and active learning
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
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 their self-confidence and they become more community-minded when
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
 with different people in school. As a way of conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the Internet
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 necessity in today's contemporary world, I believe it is a mammoth problem for young
children
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with a short intro, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence
Use links to join ideas, like 'also', 'but', and 'however'.
content
Give one or two simple examples for each main point.
grammar
Watch verb form and keep sentences easy to read.
style
Use simple and clear words to tell your view.
content
The essay shows both sides and your own view.
structure
The writing has a real plan and a final view.
content
Some ideas about why schools can help are easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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