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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say it is necessary to create a new language that improves international communication. Do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

While
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this
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 trend undoubtedly yields
covenient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 international communications, efficiency in multinational
cooperations
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corporations
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 and
language
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 equality,
this
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 essay contends negative consequences for decreasing cultural biodiversity and high cost in both time and expense. From my perspective, maintaining the features of culture from various countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 ultimately more significant. On the one hand, the same new
language
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 used by people from all walks of life can alleviate gaps between different traditional
culture
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cultures
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.
For instance
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, if a
language
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 which is easier to
memorize
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memorise
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 and
utilize
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utilise
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 is unified, it will reduce misunderstanding
due to
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 different
language
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 systems, enabling
cross-board
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cross-border
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 businesses to improve
communicate
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communication
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 more efficiently, contributing to
facilitate
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facilitating
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 exporting and
inputting
Verb problem
importing
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 items.
Thus
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, it could strengthen economic productivity and societal development.
Moreover
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, the unification in the same
language
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 could break down the dominant status of popular languages, like English, Spanish,
Chinese
Correct word choice
and Chinese
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, allowing those countries with niche languages to reduce self-abasement.
On the other hand
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, we cannot overlook the negative consequences brought by
this
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 "
innovate
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innovative
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 method". First and foremost, it
highly
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places a high
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 demand
for
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on
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 the ability to learn a totally new
language
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 system, especially for
those
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apply
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elder
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older
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 people. It is unfriendly for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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due to
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 their
worse
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poor
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 memories and
stereotype
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stereotypical
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 views.
As a result
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, they may live out of their control and cannot integrate into youngsters' groups. Meanwhile, apart from
elderly
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the elderly
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, in terms of government, it
also
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cost
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costs
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 a high expenditure and much time to change the
language
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 system comprehensively, not
even
Rephrase
apply
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mention to
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to mention
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 the World
Organization
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Organisation
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 like the United
Nation
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Nations
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. What's more, it will undoubtedly decrease the degree of cultural biodiversity.
For example
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, in China, one of the most famous books is called HongLouMeng
which
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, which
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 is filled with unique expressions through
complicate
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complicated
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 Chinese characters. Suppose that
translate
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translating
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 these words into a simple
language
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it
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apply
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would lead to the missing
in
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of
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ancients'
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ancient'
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 wisdom and
the
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its
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 nature
of
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apply
show examples
it
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apply
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. What's more, it is worth mentioning that in our technology-driven life, the artificial
intelligent
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intelligence
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 translation tools have already significantly reduced the barriers to
communications
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communication
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, meeting the satisfaction of international conversations and keeping the diverse culture at the same time.
To conclude
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,
although
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 creating a new
language
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 offers some benefits, it
also
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 poses a lot
serious
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of serious
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 challenges
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such
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, such
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 as high expense, low practical possibility
and
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, and
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 so on
which
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, which
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has outweighed
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outweigh
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 its advantages.

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stance and aim
Be clear in your view and keep it steady. Say your view in the intro and end with it again.
structure
Make the flow easy to follow. Use a simple plan: intro, 2 body parts, end.
evidence
Give real and clear examples that show your point. Avoid big ideas with no proof.
language
Keep grammar and word use simple. Check for wrong form and long run on sentences.
strength
Some good ideas are used, like the idea of looking at both sides and a real example.
effort
The essay tries to speak on both sides, which shows effort to argue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international communication
  • global unity
  • communication barriers
  • economic efficiency
  • translation costs
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural identities
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • historical precedents
  • Esperanto
  • adoption
  • evolution
  • promoting a new language
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