IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features，and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features，and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graph illuminates the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
held
Verb problem
took
show examples
 a tour to a specific Caribbean island in a period of ten years from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the trends of all three
catagories startare
Correct your spelling
categories start are
 upward
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the most striking feature being the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 exceeded those who stayed on
crise
Correct your spelling
cruise
 ships. Starting from
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 0.25
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
,
tourisms
Use the right word
tourists
show examples
 who stayed on cruise ships fluctuated in the first three years
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 were surveyed.
However
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Use synonyms
 started to leap and
finally
Linking Words
 approached a peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 in 2017.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on the island during the visit witnessed a drastic increase between 2011 and 2013, before a stagnant in the next four years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the total
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 continuously climbed up and reached an apex of 3.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2017.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, numbers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • gradual increase
  • sharp decline
  • steady growth
  • plateau
  • seasonal variation
  • external influences
  • tourist influx
  • sustainable tourism
  • economic impact
  • hospitality industry
  • travel restrictions
  • visitor statistics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: