People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree?

In recent years, the graph of
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people
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people's
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happiness has been declining at an
unprecedental
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unprecedented
pace, raising serious concerns about its effect on mental and physical health. It is argued that previous generations were more happy as relatively to now. In the past,
people
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were living
simple
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a simple
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life
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, less stressful, eating healthy food
,
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;
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therefore
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, I completely agree with
this
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view. The primary reason behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
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people
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people's
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happiness in the past is
life
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with low desires.
Although
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in the past
times
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apply
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people
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were less advanced in terms of technology, they used to work only to have basic needs ,
such
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as food, shelter and clothes. Unlike today's
people
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who are just running behind
materliastic
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materialistic
things
such
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as
luxary
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luxury
life
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, and failure to do so
causing
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causes
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stress and anxiety.
Moreover
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, past generations used to walk,
excercise
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exercise
and eat healthy food, which
prevent
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prevented
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them from several illnesses, making them healthier. Nowadays,
people
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have hectic schedules and spend less time with nature and family members.
This
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lifestyles
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lifestyle
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causes frustrations, which
is
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are
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directly
effecting
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affecting
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relationships and leaving them alone.
In contrast
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, in previous times ,
people
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use
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used
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to spend a lot of time together and
therefore
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, family bonds were stronger, which ultimately makes one stronger and happier.
Furthermore
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, another reason
people
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are less satisfied today
because
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is because
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of increased job
competitions
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competition
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.
Due to
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rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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in development of technology, several
job
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jobs
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has
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have been
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replaced by robotic machines, raising unemployment and increasing competition for getting a job,
as a result
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, failures to get one feel worthless. In conclusion, without a
doubt
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doubt,
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people
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were much satisfied and happy in the past times, as they followed simple and healthy lifestyles with low expectations.
However
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, technological advancements not only make
people
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's lives busier but
also
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increased
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increase
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competition, which is one of the main reasons behind their
dissatisfactions
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dissatisfaction
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with
life
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.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in mind in all parts of the essay.
task response
Build your ideas with clear reason and some real example or fact to show why you think so.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit. Start with a topic sentence in each paragraph.
grammar
Break long and hard sentences into shorter bites. This helps grammar and flow.
vocabulary
Check word use. A few wrong words hide your meaning. Use plain and clear words.
content
You take a clear view that life in the past made people happier.
structure
The essay has a clear plan with three parts: past, now, and contrast.
cohesion
Use of linking words like Moreover and In contrast helps flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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