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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year after finishing high school and before starting university studies. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In the current era, some people believe that taking a gap
year
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 before pursuing their studies at university
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is better to travel overseas or work. I believe that it is a good idea because they have become more responsible. On the one hand, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 before starting school is not for everyone.
That is
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 because some young people waste their time during that period
instead
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 of gaining knowledge or building a new
skill
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.
For example
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, my friend who took a gap
year
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 did not use that
year
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 in a good way.
Therefore
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, he found difficulties in the learning process, and it was hard for him to focus for a long time. What can be said is that some
students
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 do not have a plan for taking a
year
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 off, so they are wasting their time.
On the other hand
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, some
students
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 are learning a new
skill
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in
Change preposition
during
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 that period.
In other words
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, they try to learn a
skill
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 to make money from it.
For instance
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, some
students
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 are starting to make YouTube videos to be content creators in the future.
Moreover
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, those
students
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 become more independent and responsible in the future. Not only do they learn a new
skill
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, but they
also
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 follow their passion by trying what they want to do.
To conclude
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, by highlighting the above-mentioned points, what can be said is that,
although
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 some youth did not deal with that
year
Use synonyms
 appropriately, others made plans to change their life in that
year
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 to become more independent. I strongly recommend that
students
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 take that opportunity to start a new course or to gain extra experience, if they can manage it.

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structure
In your essay, make your main view clear at the start and keep to it.
content
Give more exact facts or clear samples to back your points.
language
Use simple, correct sentences and check commas so ideas are easy to read.
structure
The essay shows two sides and a final idea.
cohesion
Good use of sign post words like On the one hand, On the other hand, To conclude.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Real-world experience
  • Soft skills
  • Independence
  • Maturity
  • Cultural understanding
  • Career path
  • Dropout rates
  • Financial cushion
  • Student loans
  • Academic momentum
  • Peer pressure
  • Isolation
  • Inactivity
  • Future prospects
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