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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

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The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Australian how frequently
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ate in fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
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 in 2003,2006 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,the
percentage
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 of
people
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 eating at fast
food
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restaurants
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 once a week or once or twice a month was high.But the
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 every day was the least. The
percentage
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 of Australian ate at fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month was the highest in 2013.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 decreased in 2006 but rose to 33% in 2013.(The
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 every day or never all witnessed a downward trend in 2006
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable.) The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 once a week is the highest in 2003.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 rose to 33% in 2006 but fell again by 2013.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 several times a week had the same trend.(The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 at fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 a few times a year saw a small rise in 2006 and remained stable in 2013.)

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, food, restaurants, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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