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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

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The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The chart illustrates the frequency of the residents in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
who consumed
show examples
in the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2003,2006 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of Americans ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a week or about once or twice a month,
whereas
Linking Words
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 no
people
Use synonyms
 ate it
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 or never. In 2003, alomost 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a week,and it
increasedgrew
Correct your spelling
increased
 to a peak at 33%
sligtly
Punctuation problem
sligtly,
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then
Linking Words
 declined to the percentage between 25% and 30%.The proportion of Americans
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 decreased from 30% in 2003 to 25% in 2006,
then
Linking Words
 it grew to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
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 32.5% in 2013
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 majority of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 less frequently
at.
Change preposition
in
show examples
2013 The proportion of
people
Use synonyms
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a week fluctuated between 15% and 20% .The
people
Use synonyms
 ate it a few times a
year
Punctuation problem
year,
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 constitute the 15% since 2006 to
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
 after
rised
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 moderately from 2003. They were both occupied at the middle level.There was the least
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of Americans
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
 the habit
eating
Change preposition
of eating
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day and never.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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