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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The given paragraphs illustrate the frequency of eating at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants among
people
Use synonyms
 in America.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 in the United States eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 at about once a week,
as well as
Linking Words
 once or twice a month,
whereas
Linking Words
 only a few
people
Use synonyms
 eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 too much or too
few
Fix the agreement mistake
little
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. The main trend didn't vary very much in the 3 years. The biggest frequency of
people
Use synonyms
 to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was once a week in 2003 and
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 at the point about 30%.
However
Linking Words
, the situation had changed in 2013
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
. At that time, more than 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 were more likely to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
eat
Correct pronoun usage
who eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more often or more few frequecy, the data
also
Linking Words
 remained stable.
People
Use synonyms
 who eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a week and a few times a year
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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respectively
Punctuation problem
respectively,
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 were about 15% and 20%. For the
people
Use synonyms
eat
Correct pronoun usage
who eat
show examples
 the most and the least. The trends declined only a little in 2006, which was from 4% to about 3%, and
then
Linking Words
 they remained stable.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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